2005年
各位 请注意 May I have your attention please
背景歌曲为美国著名白人说唱歌手艾米纳姆的《超级大痞子》
超级痞子请起立 Will the real Slim Shady please stand up
女权娘们喜爱阿姆 Feminist women love Eminem
张口闭口都是痞子 Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady
但是我讨厌这个痞子 I'm sick of him
瞧他那副小样儿 吊儿郎当晃来晃去 Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
勾三搭四 你懂的 Flippin' to you-know-who
不过他的确够帅 Yeah, but he's so cute though
超级痞子请起立 So will the real Shady, please stand up
高举双手中指竖起 And put one of those fingures on each hand up
无法无天自信满满 And to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
龙虎少年队
用你吃奶的力气地再唱一次 And one more time, loud as you can
是咋唱的来着 How does it go
因为我才是真的痞子 Cuz I'm Slim Shady
超级痞子正是在下 Yes I'm the real Shady
其他都是名不符实 All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
超级痞子还不起立 So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up
起立 起立 起立 Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
周末毕业舞会 门票售完即止
你好 美乐蒂 Hey, Melodie.
-你好 -我... - Hey. - Look I know...
我们认识已经有段时间了 we've known each other for a really long time.
而且 And...
咱们又是住对街的邻居 we live across the street from each other and stuff.
还有 And...
好像是在4天之后 I know, like, in four days,
我想 如果 I'm sure. If...
-可以的话 那个毕业舞会 -不会吧 - You know, prom's, like, in four days... - Oh, my God.
你不是在邀请我做舞伴吧 You're not asking me to prom, are you?
糟糕 不 Fuck, no.
不 我 不 我只是想 No, I... No, I just...
-你反正要有个舞伴 -抱歉 - You're probably going with someone. - I'm sorry.
已经有人约我了 I don't know how to put this nicely.
谁也帮不了你 There's not a nice way to put it.
你这个呆子 You're a fucking nerd.
人家可是辣妹 And, you know... I don't know. She's hot.
看她 别看我 Look at her. Look at her.
-看她 看她 -我走了 - Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. - I'll see you later.
-再见 -老兄 领教了 - Bye. - All right, buddy, good talk.
傻逼 Dude. Classic.
格雷格·琴科请到校长办公室来 Greg Jenko to the principal's office.
-扫兴 -祝你好运 兄弟 - Shit. - Good luck, bro.
我早已有言在先 I said loud and clear
成绩上升 才能参加毕业舞会 if you didn't get your grades up, you weren't going to the prom.
熟归熟 后果还得你自己承担 You, my friend, are about to pay the paper.
什么后果 I should pay who?
你不能参加舞会 You're not going to the prom.
孩子 能毕业已经算你走运了 Boy, you lucky you even graduating.
我都已经准备好做舞会之星了 But I'm going to be prom king.
很高兴你在学校混的不错 I'm glad you had a great time in school.
总算有点收获 Because you ain't learned nothing.
高级中学
该死 Fuck! Fuck!
7年之后
大都市警察学院
欢迎来到警察学院 Welcome to the Police Academy.
填完信息表后往前走 Make sure your form is completely filled out, then move along.
天哪 还是那么胖 有没有搞错 Not so slim shady, what's up? Holy shit!
琴科 施密特 该你们了 Jenko, Schmidt, you're up.
糟糕 fuck!
-看来你是高手 -没错 - You're good at this, huh? - Yeah I am.
谢谢 Thank you.
警校入学考试成绩 37分
见鬼 Such bullshit.
看来你才是高手 You're really good at this.
没错 Yeah, I am.
交个朋友怎样 Hey, you want to be friends?
快点 跟上 Come on. Come on, let's go.
再快点 抬高膝盖 Come on, pick your knees up. Pick your knees up.
我认为这不算重罪 I'm telling you right now, it's not a felony.
别激动 听我说 Chill, all right?
如果是蓄意作为 就是重罪 Look, if it has intent, it's a felony.
忘记我的指教了吗 起来 起来 起来 What did I tell you? Come on, let's go, let's go, let's go!
继续跑 跑 跑 跑 Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
快点 跑 Faster. Let's go.
危险清除 Clear!
清除 Clear!
快点 快点 停 Come on, come on, come on. Stop.
达标了 Yes! Yes!
让我瞧瞧你的成绩 Let me see. Let me see.
真棒 Nice.
立正 Ten-hut!
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
向你们郑重推出137班的毕业警员 I present to you the graduates of Class 137.
跟坏人斗一辈子 准备好了吗 Get ready for a lifetime of being badass motherfuckers.
准备好了 I am.
我本以为当了警察 I really thought this job
能有什么爆炸火拼追击之类的 would have more car chases and explosions,
帮助那些无家可归的人 and less homeless people doo-dooing everywhere.
这是警察该干的活吗 Do you guys really think this is a police matter?
帮你们捡飞盘 To get your frisbee back?
去你妈的破飞盘 Get your own fucking frisbee.
糟糕 Shit.
糟糕 Shit! Shit!
你的枪没装子弹吧 Yours isn't loaded, right?
不是先用空枪练习吗 We're supposed to unload them first, right?
你说什么 不 What, you. No.
那多没劲 That's no fun. Come on.
明明写着 "禁止喂鸭" Sign says, "Do not feed the ducks.”
你看 就在这里 It's right there.
-请你 不要 -不要 住手 - Don't you... Don't... - Don't. Stop it.
别 叫你别喂你偏喂 Don't. You did it. You fed the ducks.
觉得自己很拽吗 You feel like a big shot?
岂有此理 No fucking way.
one percenter代表骑摩托车的不法之徒
摩托党 One Percenters?
看上去像一群大毒枭 These guys are like big-time drug dealers.
要是我们牛刀小试就把他们一举拿下 If we could take them down as our first bust,
以后肯定不用当公园巡警了 we'd be off park duty for sure.
看到了没 You see what I see?
大麻 Cannabis sativa.
上吧 Chaka Khan.
Chaka Khan含义 再来杯酒
要酒干啥 Chaka Khan?
先生们 玩得很开心嘛 Gentlemen. We having a little party?
友情提醒一下 吸食大麻是违法的 Have we forgotten that the use of marijuana is illegal?
我在治疗青光眼 I have glaucoma.
我也是 缓解紧张症 I get nervous in crowds.
疱疹 Herpes.
这么说来 搜一下车也不要紧了 Then you won't mind if I search your bike, now, would you?
搜吧 毛都没有 Go ahead. You won't find shit.
-起来 -别急[西班牙语] 乡巴佬 - Get up. - Cálmate, gringo.
你们 真的是警察吗 Man, you guys even real cops?
不是化妆舞会的小毛孩子吧 You look like the kids on Halloween.
他们是警察 老子就是缉毒局的 If those boys is cops, I'm DEA.
了解 了解 I know, right? I know.
真是搞笑 It's hilarious.
既然是"自己人" 大家何不客气点 So why don't you show us a little respect?
-去死吧 猪头 -喂 - Fuck you, pig. - Hey.
你鸡巴是不是欠揍 You want me to beat your dick off?
敢动老子鸡巴 You want to beat my dick off?
我要用手把它折断 怎么着 来吧 I'll beat your dick off with both hands. Whats up? Let's go.
什么乱七八糟的 That's weird, man.
我兄弟的意思是 I think what he was trying to say was,
狠打你的裤裆几次 he's going to punch you so many times around the genital area
打到老二掉下来 that your dick's just going to fall off.
车里怎么会有白花花的"盐巴" Why do you have salt in your...
-是毒品 -天哪 - That's actual drugs. - Oh, my God.
都给我趴下 Get on the ground! Hey!
-这边 -怎么办 - Come here now! - What do I do?
-逮一个是一个 -逮哪一个 - Chase someone! - Chase someone?
自行车也不要了吗 Are you leaving your bike here?
好吧 终于上场了 Okay. All right.
跟我赛跑 自讨苦吃 Don't run from me! You're making it worse for yourself.
别过来 让开 No! Get out of the way!
站住 Stop!
再不站住我就开枪了 I'm going to shoot you if you dont slow down, man! Come on!
你给我停下 Come here!
不跟你玩了 老子的耐心是有限的 I'm not playing anymore! I'm so not kidding!
追...追上了 I got him. I got him.
站住 别动 Freeze! Freeze!
举手投降 否则就开枪 站住 Hands up or I shoot you! Freeze!
好的 得手了 Thats it! Come here!
站住 住手 Freeze! Stop it!
死娘娘腔 You're a pussy!
你有权保持...把手给我 有权保持 You got the right to... Give me that! You got the right to...
吃屎吧你 混账东西 to suck my dick, motherfucker!
我的手肘 My elbow.
-你没有...-我这样顶你爽不爽 - You got nothing. - How's my dick feel in your ass, huh?
爽不爽 爽不爽 How's it feel? How's it feel now?
施密特 逮到一个了 That's right. Schmidt! Schmidt, we got one!
我抓住他了 We got one! I got him.
太棒了 Yes! Yes!
我们成功抓获罪犯 We got an arrest!
-我们成功了 -是的 - Yeah! We got him. - Yes!
-去你的 -去你的 - Yeah! Fuck you! Yeah! - Fuck you! Yeah!
怎么着 What's up?
跟我的蛋蛋亲一下吧 Drop my nuts on your motherfucking forehead!
-有完没完 -公园里搞什么 - That's right. - Fuck you, park!
-我们抓到人了 -公园里怎么着 - We arrest people now! - What's up, park?
-看见没 -哪个想来一下 - What's up? What's up? - What's up, park? Who wants one?
热烈祝贺 孩子们 听起来很带劲 Congratulations on the bust, boys. It sounds great.
-谢谢你 席妮曼 -菜鸟吗 - Thank you, Cinnamon. - Are those new?
局里被迫撤销指控 因为逮捕的时候 The department was forced to drop the charges
你忘了跟罪犯宣读米兰达权利 because you forgot to read him his Miranda rights.
怎么会忘记这么重要的步骤呢 What possible reason is there for not doing the only thing
逮捕之前必须要说的 you have to do when arresting someone?
我说过一些什么什么权利 I did read him his right... I did a version of that.
你知道米兰达权利吗 Do you even know the Miranda rights?
当然 Yes.
说来听听 Let's hear them. Then.
您那么忙 还是算了吧 You got a lot of stuff to do.
没事 说吧 施密特 你出去先 No, go ahead. You going anywhere, Schmidt?
我们要私聊 We got time.
我的工作可以延后处理的 I had a thing, but I can probably push it back.
快点 4个慷慨激昂的句子 1个问句结尾 Go ahead. It's four declamatory sentences, followed by a question,
总共57个单词 for a total of 57 words.
这还用说吗 它的开头是这样的 Okay. Look, it obviously starts with,
"你有权保持沉默" "You have the right to remain silent."
肯定有这句话 I know you've heard this before. And then
接下去 大概好像是 I think it sounds something like...
"你有权请律师" "You have the right to an attorney."
好像是...对了 Well. The thing... Yeah, right.
"你有权...一个律师" "You have the right to remain an attorney."
你是说有权成为一个律师吗 Did you say that you have the right to be an attorney?
的确如此 假如你愿意的话 You do have the right to be an attorney, if you want to.
当时你在哪里 Where were you?
追捕逃犯 长官 I was chasing my perp, sir.
结果呢 And how did that go for you?
不瞒您说 让他逃走了 Honestly, he did get away,
他用力地推开我 and he threw me down pretty hard.
我的手肘差点就断了 Actually fucked up my elbow pretty bad.
让我瞧瞧 Can I see that?
当然 可疼了 沙子都进去了 Yeah, actually, it hurts 'cause the dirt gets meshed into it.
你俩还算走运 Fortunately for you two,
我们正在重启一项80年代的卧底行动 we're reviving a canceled undercover police program from the 80s
赋予它全新的意义 and revamping it for modern times.
但是 负责这项行动的警员 You see, the guys in charge of this stuff
脑子一片混乱 没有什么创意 lack creativity and are completely out of ideas,
尽干些换汤不换药的勾当 so all they do now is recycle shit from the past
以为可以蒙混过关 and expect us all not to notice.
其中有一个项目针对年轻人吸毒 One of these programs involves the use of young,
和未成年人的管教 immature-seeming officers.
长官 您的意思是要把我们送往 Sir, are you saying that you're going to send us into, like,
什么虐童会去卧底吗 a child sex slavery ring or something?
长官 如果要我吹箫 我可以做到 Sir, if I have to suck somebody's dick, I will.
但能不能 不去那里 It's just... I'd prefer not to.
你们两个活宝正是不二人选 I think you idiots are perfect.
服从调配 别多说了 You're officially transferred.
-同意 -很好 - All right. Yeah. - That's great.
哪里报到 Where should we report to?
龙虎街 Down on Jump Street.
37号 37 Jump Street.
慢着 好像不是 No, that doesn't sound right.
几号来着 Is it...
玩笑开大了 This has got to be a joke.
到了 This is it.
馨主堂? Aroma of Christ Church?
龙虎街21号
怎么回事 How's it going?
这地方有点诡异 This place is weird.
大家坐得还爽吗 Everybody comfortable?
还好 Yeah.
我讲话的时候 他妈的都给我站着 Get your motherfucking ass up when I'm talking!
你们将要被派往高校卧底 You will be going undercover as high school students.
能来这里只是因为你们长的很嫩 You are here simply because you look young.
你们这些娃娃脸 You some Justin Bieber
贾斯汀·比伯和麦莉·塞勒斯都是当今欧美乐坛的90后大红人
就像他妈的贾斯汀·比伯和麦莉·塞勒斯 Miley Cyrus-looking motherfuckers.
他还真潮 Captain sassy.
我知道你们在想什么 I know what you're thinking,
暴脾气黑人长官 Angry black captain.
训话不过是装腔作势 It ain't nothing but a stupid stereotype.
用猪脑子想想 混蛋 Well, guess what, motherfuckers.
我是黑人 I'm black.
但我靠实力成为你们的长官 And I worked my ass off to be the captain!
有时我是暴脾气 And sometimes I get angry.
有种就抗议 So suck a dick!
废话少说 叫你扮谁就扮谁 What I'm trying to show you is,
别跟我油腔滑调 embrace your stereotypes.
像这位帅哥 Like this guy right here. Handsome.
他可能是个哑巴 And he's probably a dummy.
这位 And then this guy.
五短身材 毫无安全感 He's short and insecure.
但他可能腰缠万贯 And he's probably good with money.
-你是富二代啊 -别闹了 - You are good with money. - What the fuck?
没人告诉你俩是来当是卧底的吗 Didn't somebody tell you guys this was an undercover unit?
没有 的确没有 I don't. I actually didn't...
介绍信 邀请函什么的 I didn't get a letter or anything.
没错 从一开始 Yeah, like, a start time...
就没人指点 包括穿什么衣服 With a dress code or anything like that.
年轻人真白痴 Teenage the fuck up!
富盖奇 念一下规则第一条 Rule number one at Jump Street. Fugazy.
不能被开除 Do not get expelled.
局里不知道你们在这里 懂不 Nobody in the system knows you're here. All right? Nobody.
一旦被学校开除 You get kicked out of school,
他妈的就从这里滚蛋 your monkey ass is getting kicked out of Jump Street.
规则二 伯恩斯 你来 Rule number two. Burns.
报告长官 禁止任何校园性行为 Do not have sexual relations with students or teachers, sir.
听见没 说的就是你 You hear that? That's you.
-想都不要想 -怎么说 - Don't do it, man. - Why...
-管好你裤裆里的下流胚 -下流 - Keep that dirty dick in your pants. - Dirty?
不许搞学生 Don't fuck no students.
不许搞老师 Don't fuck no teachers.
长官 虽然我们英俊潇洒魅力十足 Sir, I know we come off as a couple of lady-killers,
但您放心 我们会坐怀不乱恪尽职守的 but I promise you we will be super professional on the job.
还没轮到你说话 大奶头 Clearly, I wasn't talking to you, big titties.
你这张娃娃脸很欠扁 You cherub-looking motherfucker.
我在跟你的拍档讲话 I was talking to your partner over here.
装逼的帅哥先生 Fake-ass handsome McGee.
我在跟他讲话的时候 When I'm talking to him, I'm talking to him.
闭上你的臭嘴 When I say, "Shut the fuck up,”
-没让你说不要说 -明白 - I'm talking to you. - Cool.
你们两个小杂种 马上去我办公室 Now, you two sons of bitches, in my office now.
马上 Right now!
大家好 我是比利亚姆·威灵汉 Hi. I am Billiam Willingham.
看看我的货色 So I bought these,
这玩意现在很热门 which is all anybody seems to be talking about right now.
味道好极了 Cheers.
这是新型的合成毒品 It's a new synthetic drug.
市面上流行的名字叫做天杀爽 Goes by the street name H.F.S.
天杀的爽死了 Holy fucking shit.
天 Holy...
竟敢把这种视频放在网上做广告 They put this on the internet for everybody to see?
所以说未成年人傻 They're teenagers, man. They're really stupid.
你们很容易得手的 So you should blend right in.
阶段一 怪笑傻笑
阶段二 出现幻觉
阶段三 过分自大
杰西卡 跟我去毕业舞会吧 Jessica, will you go to prom with me?
我知道你一定会同意的 But I already know the answer. It yes.
阶段四 歇斯底里
这么有趣 整天看都不会无聊 I could watch this kid all day.
看上去他掌控了一切 Man, this kid rules.
错 被掌控 Ruled.
他父母几天前发现房间有异味 His parents found him odd in his room a few days ago.
他死了 He's dead.
他吃的合成毒品 警局实验室都没见过 Whatever he took, the lab has never seen it before.
因为是白人小孩 And as you can see this kid is white.
很多人都表示关心 That means people actually give a shit.
长官 就算是黑人小孩 Sir, I just want to throw out
我也会表示关心的 to you that I would give a shit if he was black.
现在天杀爽仅限于萨冈高中 Right now, H.F.S. is contained right there at Sagan High.
一旦流出到社会上 Now, once this drug breaks containment,
后果不堪设想 it goes viral in a few days.
琴科 我看过你的档案 Jenko, I looked at your old transcript.
有几门鸟科还不错 I enrolled you in a bunch of bullshit courses
比如摄影和戏剧 like photography and drama.
想办法和那些装酷的学生混在一起 Get in with the burnouts and the cool kids.
找出谁在买毒品 Find out who's selling this shit.
施密特 听说你在高中时 Schmidt, says you were a virgin
-还是只童子鸡 -档案还写这个 - through high school. - It says that?
不 只是我的推测 No. I just assumed it,
你的成绩一直都很好 due to your many years on the honor roll
而且还是马戏团的成员 and your membership to the juggling squad.
是杂技社团 It's the Juggling Society,
不过 随你怎么说 but it's fine. It's fine.
他们从化学实验室窃取仪器 They're stealing equipment from the chemistry lab.
我们怀疑是用来制造毒品的 That's what we think they're cooking the dope with.
所以我把你的化学成绩编的很高 I enrolled you into honors chemistry.
这是你们新身份的资料 Here's your new identities, all right?
布拉德·麦奎德和道格·麦奎德 Brad and Doug McQuaid.
任务如下 The mission is this.
找到卖家 查出供货人 Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier.
我们是要做兄弟吗 We get to be brothers?
找到卖家 查出供货人 Infiltrate the dealers. Find the supplier.
要是能先查出供货人 But if we find the supplier first,
卖家更好找 we don't have to worry about the dealers.
妈的还不清楚 找到卖家 查出供货人 God damn. Infiltrate the dealers. Find the supplier.
您好 韩国的耶稣 Hey, Korean Jesus.
不知道你是否只为韩国人民服务 I don't know if you only cater to Korean Christians
如果您真的存在 恕我冒犯 or if you even exist. No offense.
我有点... I just...
重返学校 我真的好紧张 I'm really freaked out about going back to high school.
成功总是来之不易 It was just so fucking hard the first time.
我们搞砸了第一次的逮捕任务 I know we haven't made our first arrest,
也许我不是最棒的警察 or maybe I'm not the best cop.
耶稣 我不想再把任务搞砸 Korean Jesus I just really don't want to fuck this up.
对不起 我的要求太多了 I'm sorry for swearing so much.
最后 The end?
我不知祈祷怎么结束 最后 I don't really know how to end a prayer. The end?
祈祷你妈的韩国耶稣 Stop fucking with Korean Jesus!
他忙着呢 没时间管你们 He ain't got time for your problems. He busy!
韩国人的破事就够他忙了 With Korean shit.
-滚回家吃奶去吧 越快越好 -什么 - You two get to your mama house ASAP. - What?
你们现在是无知少年了 懂不 You're teenagers now, all right?
整个任务执行期间 You two are staying at Schmidt's parents house
你们都待在施密特父母的家里 for the duration of this assignment.
不会吧 Fuck me.
房子不错 This house is adorable.
宝贝 欢迎回家 My baby's home! Come here.
我的可爱小宝贝 快点进来 You will always be my infant angel baby child.
我的孩子 There's my guy.
很高兴见到你们 It's great to see you guys.
施密特大叔大婶好 Schmidt family! Up top, Papa Schmidt.
施婶 这都是你布置的吗 Oh, my God. Mama Schmidt, did you do all this yourself?
-太不可思议了 -没错 - This is unbelievable. - Well, yeah.
-是我布置的 -太厉害了 - I guess I did. - It's gorgeous!
是吗 So are you.
宝贝 我跟你说 Honey, listen, I want to tell you,
我们在你的房间里放了一张充气垫子 we did blow up the air mattress in your room
用来锻炼身体 'cause were kind of using that as a workout area,
希望你不要介意 so I hope you don't mind the elliptical.
别 别 琴科 天哪 不要这样 No, no! Jenko, Jenko, oh, my God, please. No, no.
塞多纳是美国亚利桑那州的一个小镇 拥有许多超自然的灵物 是印第安人的圣地
别碰它 这是我们从塞多纳带来的灵物 Don't touch that. We just brought it back from Sedona.
不能不挂这些照片吗 Guys, can we get rid of this stuff?
说真的 就像我出了车祸 I mean. It looks like I died in a car crash
-而你们一直无法释怀 -拿走它们 - and you guys haven't moved on. - Rid of it?
这样的话 我们就无法向外人炫耀你了 If we take it down, we have to stop bragging about you.
《纯真年代》是美国上世纪80年代家喻户晓的经典剧集 是一部白人小孩成长温情剧 弗瑞德·萨维奇是主演
我看上去就像《纯真年代》中的弗瑞德·萨维奇 I look like Fred Savage from The Wonder Years,
而且一丝不挂 除了印第安人的友情手镯 but completely naked, wearing Indian friendship bracelet's.
这张照片很不错 莫顿 That is a great picture, Morton.
杰·雷诺 美国脱口秀主持人
看上去就像年轻版的杰·雷诺 You look like a young Jay Leno.
当时我有没有穿内裤 Am I ever wearing underwear in this picture?
没有 No.
我记得 知道为啥不 I remember. You know why?
因为我跟医生说过无数遍了 Because I've told it to a therapist about 8,000 times.
这枚小学四年级的足球奖牌 I mean, this is a fourth grade participation medal for soccer.
纯粹是给失败者的安慰奖牌 It's literally a medal for sucking.
-不 这是一枚给勇者的勋章 -是吗 - No, that is a medal for trying. - Yes.
我的孩子一直都是勇气可嘉 Let me tell you something. This guy was always a great tryer.
肯定是你菲姨来了 她很想见你一面 That must be Phyllis. She is just dying to see you.
什么 你还告诉菲姨我在家里 What? Mom, you told Phyllis I was here?
她那张大嘴巴 会让路人皆知的 She's going to tell the whole neighborhood.
我说过这是卧底任务 绝密级别的 I told you, it's an undercover assignment. It's super secretive.
卧底任务 好好玩 Undercover. That's so cute.
-我要上楼了 -宝贝 很高兴 - I'm going upstairs. - Okay, honey. I want you to know
-你能回家 -好吧 - we are so glad you're here. - Okay.
太好了 谢谢你们 That's great. Thank you.
-他人呢 -上楼了 - All right. Where is he? - He's upstairs.
他想稍微歇息一下 He just needs to take a little rest,
他也很想见你 and then he's dying to see you, too.
-再见 -我做了小松饼 - Bye-bye. - I baked muffins!
如果不熟悉新身份 明天会露出马脚 If you don't know your identity, were screwed tomorrow.
最好先熟悉一下 You got to study this stuff.
别管它 简直就是胡说八道 Forget those identities. They're bullshit.
说什么我留级一年 They said I was held back a year.
你本来就是 还是两年呢 You were. You were held back two years.
虽然是假资料 Just because it's a fake
但也会伤到我的自尊 backstory doesn't mean it doesn't hurt my feelings.
操 袜子不搭 Fuck! Socks don't match.
看来要重新装扮 I got to start all over.
上学第一天 我得穿得帅一点 It's the first day of school, dude. I got to look awesome.
高校足球比赛冠军
知道吗 档案中的你是个大明星 You know, back in the day, you were super popular
我可逊色多了 and I wasn't as much.
杂技社团 一人扔三球
我们又不是真的去上学 We didn't really get along in high school.
往事一去不回头 是不是 You don't think that's going to happen again, do you?
当然了 我们长大了 而且并肩作战 No. Come on, man. We're adults now. We're best buds.
肯定和以前不一样 It's definitely not going to happen again.
-我们行的 -没错 - We're good. - Cool.
一天之计在于晨 孩子们 Beautiful day out there, boys.
别吵 Just shut up.
"你所说一切 "Anything you say can and
都将成为对你不利的呈堂供词" will be used against you in a court of law."
"你有权请律师" "You have the right to an attorney."
"如果请不起 法庭可以为你指定一名..." "If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed..."
老兄 你还没记牢米兰达权利 Dude, do you still not know the Miranda rights?
你可是个警察啊 You're a cop.
电视里总是不放全 说了一半就卡掉了 Come on. Man. They always cut away on TV before they finish them.
开工了 All right, let's do it.
干嘛 What?
你这是什么意思 What are you doing?
-有话直说 -你用双肩包 - What? What are you talking about? - Are you two-strapping?
-是啊 -作为我的搭档 - My backpack? Yeah. - Yeah, I got to be seen with you.
最好背一根带子 You got to one-strap it.
不瞒你说 最好一根都不要 Seriously, I would no-strap it if that would even be possible.
凭什么要听你的 Okay, what makes you the expert?
因为我以前是学校里的酷哥 你不是 I was cool in high school, and you weren't.
有道理 继续 Okay, that makes sense. Continue.
高校耍酷三秘诀 本人原创 The three keys of coolness in high school, by Jenko.
第一 做人不要太认真 One, don't try hard at anything.
第二 嘲弄那些认真的人 Okay? Two, make fun of people who do try.
第三 学会装帅 Three. Be handsome.
第四 上学第一天要是有人敢来惹你 Four, if anyone steps to you on the first day of school,
狠狠揍他们的脸 you punch them directly in the face.
第五 要有辆拉风的车 Five, drive a kick-ass car.
见鬼 Shit.
别开车时也跟个小孩似的 All right, but just don't be driving it like teenagers,
别轰引擎什么的 知道了吗 revving up the engine and shit, okay?
不会的 We would never.
拜托 霍夫斯 相信我们 Come on, Hoffs. Give us a little credit.
-准备好了吗 -来吧 - Hey, you ready? - Go!
太棒了 太厉害了 That was awesome! That was amazing.
-我在飞吗 -你太厉害了 - Was I flying? - That was amazing.
好了 让我来 All right, do mine, do mine.
准备好了吗 我来了 Okay, ready? Here I go.
好了 来吧 Yeah, yeah.
你没事吧 You okay?
我想我搞砸了 I think I shit my pants.
停在残疾车位 Hey, park in that handicapped spot.
-会显得我们很酷 -太棒了 - It'll make us look cool. - That's awesome.
老兄 Dude?
-大家都是双肩背的 -就单肩背着 - Everybody's two-strapping it. - Just stay with the one-strap.
不行 不行 现在不行 I can't. I can't. I can't right now.
你在干什么 你在干什么 What are you doing? What are you doing?
别屈服于同伴压力 Don't succumb to the peer pressure.
-你在干什么 -你应该双肩背才对 - What are you doing? - You're supposed to do two-strap.
单肩背才是同伴压力呢 One strap is peer pressure.
不 不 现在都被你搞砸了 No. No. You're fucking up right now.
好了 那些是哥特迷 Okay, those are Goths.
他们是书呆子 Those are nerds.
他们算哪种人 I don't know what they are.
她们又是什么鬼东西 What the fuck are those things?
我现在彻底懵了 I'm so confused right now.
早上好 Good morning.
-那是你的车吗 -是啊 - Is that your car? - Yeah.
耗油挺厉害吧 跑十英里耗一加仑吗 What's that thing get, 10 miles to the gallon?
不 大概就七英里 No, try, like, seven.
-你的呢 -我用的生物柴油 兄弟 - What about you? - Biodiesel, dawg.
闻起来像蛋卷 Smells like egg rolls.
是有点 是中餐馆用过的炒菜油 Yeah. It does. Runs on leftover fry oil from Hunan Palace.
但可能的话我们会骑自行车 But we try to ride bikes when we can.
全球危机什么的 Global crisis and whatnot.
无所谓 兄弟 我什么都不在乎 Whatever, man. I don't care about anything.
你都不关心环境吗 You don't care about the environment?
这有点逊啊 老兄 That's kind of fucked up, man.
你们能别吵了吗 Hey, hey, will you all shut the hell up?
我正学习呢 谢谢 I'm trying to study. Thanks.
看啊 他居然在用功 Look at him. He's trying.
他真的在用功 书呆子一个 He's actually trying. What a nerd.
快看 快看 书呆子 Look at the nerd. Look at the nerd.
快看他 看书呆子 Look at him. Look at the nerd.
你叫谁书呆子呢 Who you calling a nerd. Man?
不好意思 I'm sorry. What...
-我天 -天哪 老兄 - Shit! - Shit. Dude.
你还好吧 兄弟 Are you okay, man?
搞毛啊 你开什么玩笑呢 Hey, what the hell? Are you serious?
好了 把那基味十足的音乐关了 Well, turn that gay-ass music off.
-你因为我是同性恋就打我 -什么 - You punched me because I'm gay? - What?
没有的事 拜托 No. Come on.
这可不酷啊 兄弟 That's not cool, man.
来者不善啊 That is really insensitive.
我不是因为他是同性恋才打他的 I didn't punch him because he's gay.
我先打了他 I punched him, and then
然后他正好又说自己是同性恋 he happened to turn out to be gay afterwards.
我一直就是同性恋 I was gay when you punched me!
这说起来有点荒诞 In a weird way,
如果因为你是同性恋就不打你的话 it might have been homophobic not to punch you
-那才是歧视 -好了 - just because you were gay. -Right.
你冲一个黑人基佬脸上打了一拳 You punched a little gay black kid in the face,
刚到学校就惹祸 这怎么解释 and it's not even second period. How do you explain that?
戴迪尔先生 很抱歉 我只是 Mr. Dadier I'm so sorry about that. I just...
小伙们 我得把帐算你们头上 知道吗 Look, guys, I'm going to relate to you, okay?
前些天一个学生因为吸毒死了 A kid died the other day from drugs,
连我在内 什么都没搞清 and nobody, including me, is doing anything about it.
这不对劲 伙计们 That's weird, guys.
这学期最后一个月 And then you two show up,
你们出现了 with 30 days left,
在我学校惹是生非 causing trouble in my school.
要是再有一个黑人基佬被打 I am one more black gay kid getting punched in the face
我就要精神崩溃了 听清楚了吗 away from a nervous breakdown. Do I make myself clear?
你们俩要是再玩过界 You guys cross my line again,
被送到我办公室来 and you walk into this office,
我就把你们开除 明白了吗 I'm going to expel you. You got me?
好了 你们中哪个是道格 All right, let's do this. Which one of you is Doug?
再问一遍 你们没什么毛病吧 Let's do that again and pretend you guys aren't weird.
哪个是道格 Which one of you is named Doug?
-不是我 我是布拉德 -好的 - No, dude, I'm Brad. - Okay, good.
那就是说你是道格 孩子 So that means your name is Doug, son.
-没错 我是道格 -好极了 - Yeah, I'm Doug. - Great.
这是你们的课程表 Here are your class schedules.
奇怪 我还以为你不是聪明人 Funny, I wouldn't have taken you for the brainy type.
不过你居然是演戏剧的 I wouldn't. But you as a drama geek,
那他就没什么好奇怪的了 far less surprising.
谢谢 Thank you.
现在我们身份换了 你个傻瓜 Now we have the wrong identities, you dumbass.
我要去上戏剧课 我演戏糟糕透了 I'm in drama. I suck at drama.
这玩意儿又娘又尴尬 It's girly and embarrassing.
别紧张 管他呢 Oh, my God. Relax. Dude. Who cares?
不就是去乐队排练 上App化学课嘛 I can fake my way through
我可以靠假身份撑过几个礼拜 band practice and app chemistry for a few weeks.
是Ap化学 Ap化学 AP Chemistry. AP Chemistry.
Ap化学 美国高中基础化学科目
而且你撑不过去 And, no, you can't,
因为你他妈连这门课的名字都不会念 because you don't even know what its actually fucking called!
没问题的 你上我的课 It's going to be fine. You go to my classes,
我上你的课 and I'm going to go to yours.
好了 化学是学图形之类的 是吧 Okay, now, chemistry's the one with the shapes and shit, right?
该死 Fuck.
今天我们要为彼得·潘的角色进行试镜 So, we are going to hold auditions for the Peter Pan part today.
比利亚姆也会希望这次演出能够继续 Billiam would've wanted the show to go on.
当我还是个从纽约起步的年轻演员时 When I was a young actor just starting out in New York state,
确切的说 是从阿尔巴尼 Albany, to be exact,
我参演了一个地方电视广告 I booked a local television commercial...
我演一个年轻人 In which I had to play a young man...
他出事真让人难过 他很有才 It's really sad about that kid. He was talented.
也就是说如果他不有才的话 So are you saying if he wasn't talented,
就没那么难过了吗 it would be less sad?
不 不 不是这个意思 No. No, no, no, that's not what I meant.
我闹着玩的 I was just busting your balls.
好吧 Okay. Good.
威利·尼尔森 美乡村音乐泰斗
记得有一次 我跟威利·尼尔森的马子一起吸可卡因 I remember, one time, doing cocaine with Willie Nelson's horse,
我们很开心 and we were having so much fun.
然后我发现她已经死了 And then I realized that she was dead.
记得一个夏天 I remember one summer
现在还有人嗑这玩意儿吗 Do kids still do this stuff?
这件事之后还有人嗑吗 Even after what happened to him?
都说比利亚姆心脏不好 有心杂音 Everyone's saying that Billiam had a heart murmur.
我认识的人基本都嗑 Pretty much everyone I know does it,
不过我不喜欢做这种事 but it's not my thing.
我也不是特别喜欢 It's not rosily my thing, either,
不过我一个朋友很想要 but a buddy of mine really wants it.
如果他想要应该找谁 Who would he call if he wanted it?
你可以告诉你朋友 Well, you can tell your friend
如果他真的想要 that if he really wanted it,
其实不难到手 its not so hard to find.
什么时候吸 他其实根本不该吸 When to take it. He shouldn't have been taking it at all.
珍爱生命 远离毒品 Drugs are bad.
但在职业演员的一生中 But they can have their
毒品可以有一席之地 place in the life of a professional actor.
-谢谢 -不客气 -Thank you. -You're welcome.
注意区分 我说的是"职业演员" Notice the distinction. I said 'professional actor.'
想要点货
新来的 短信狂人 New person. Mr. Texty Texty.
既然你有那么多话要跟茉莉说 Since you have so much to say to Molly,
让我们看看你能不能跟她演好彼得·潘 let's see if you can be Peter to our Wendy.
你看上去可能会有彼得·潘的气质 You look like you might have a little Peter inside of you.
我不行 让我演一棵树什么的就好了 I can't. I'm fine just being a tree or something.
道格 不去争取的话 Doug, you never won't know
你永远不会知道自己的潜能 what you can't achieve before you don't achieve it.
我的意思是 My point is,
你必须演 每个人都要为彼得试镜 you have to. Everyone auditions for Peter.
那当然 Yeah, sure.
我最喜欢的分子是水 My favorite molecule is water.
除非它是我女儿 不然我会娶了它 I'd marry it, unless it was my daughter
固态的水能浮在液态水上 It's solid form floats on its liquid form,
这点就使它与众不同 which makes it far outside the norm.
它可以在火星上孕育生命 It allows life to form on ancient Mars,
也可以给你洗车 and we'll use it to wash your cars.
H2O H2O.
H2O H2O H2O. H2O.
-H2O -说完了 谢谢 - H2O - It's okay. Thank you.
谢谢 扎克 棒极了 Thank you, Zack. So good.
好了 还有人要做周一分子演讲吗 All right, anybody else for Molecule Mondays?
有人吗 Anyone?
好 现在是奎兹诺斯随堂测试 Okay. Time for a pop Quiznos.
什么 A what?
抱歉 I'm sorry.
你叫什么 布拉德 What is your name? Brad?
-布拉德 是的 老师 -看看你 - Brad. Yes ma'am. - Wow. Look at you,
布拉德 大块头 Brad. Big.
奎兹诺斯随堂测试是什么 What is a pop Quiznos?
是一个小测验 第一个答完的人 It's a quiz, and the first person
可以拿到奎兹诺斯的十元优惠券 who finishes gets a $10 gift certificate to Quiznos.
奎兹诺斯: 美国快餐品牌
-今天的测试内容是 -你好显老 - Today's quiz is on... - You look really old.
留级了还是怎么了 Were you held back or something or...
没有 你看上去很嫩啊 No. You look super young.
跳级了吗 Were you held forward?
我在法国上过学 I went to school in France so...
那里的中学 And they do, like, two extra
要多上两年 弱爆了 years of middle school there. It's so lame.
法语 爱的语言 French, the language of love.
不客气 老兄 见到你也很高兴 That's cool, man. Its nice to meet you also.
祝你好运 Good luck.
我要欢唱 I've gotta crow
我是最聪明的 I'm just the cleverest..
好了 Okay.
能不能唱得酷一点 Maybe try one cooler.
快一点 And faster.
响一点 好一点 And louder. And better
自信 酷一点就行了 And less insecure and more just cool.
五分钟之内 年刊编辑室
好的 弹得不错 Okay, yeah, those are great notes.
我要出去一下 I'm going to run outside,
我会根据你的意见好好改进 and I'm going to utilize those,
一会儿回来 and I'm going to come back.
-A 你个白痴 -B 我不是白痴 -C 你就是 -D 去你妈的
真他妈见鬼 It's such bullshit.
做得很快嘛 Wow. You're fast.
光做得快没用 让我看看你 Not like that. Just, let me check you out.
让我看看你的胸肌 Let me check out your chest.
让我看看你的题 Check out your test... Let me...
我是说 批你的测试题 Let me grade your quiz.
马上到走廊上来
我能去上厕所吗 Can I go take a dump?
好 没问题 Yeah, okay. That's cool.
我们有快去快回的规定 We have this 'hurry back' rule,
如果你六分钟之内不回来 so if you're not back in six minutes,
我就得把你送到校长那儿 I have to send you to the principal.
规定就是规定 所以 Rules are rules, so,
你要抓紧时间哦 I guess this will have to be a quickie.
-年刊编辑室怎么走 -不知道 - Which way is yearbook? - I don't know.
-从这儿走吗 -我不知道 - Is it this way? - I don't know!
是你们啊 You guys, huh?
之前那事完全是因为我们没搞清楚状况 That was a total mix-up, what happened earlier.
-是啊 -他感觉糟透了 - Yeah. - He feels awful. He feels...
是啊 我很紧张 Totally, very nervous.
你就是卖药的吗 You're the dealer?
-你是卖家吗 -是你吗 - You're the dealer guy? - Is that you?
是啊 Yep.
这些货是你自己做的还是... So do you make the stuff or...
我看上去像个科学家吗 我只负责出手 Do I look like a fucking scientist? No, I just sell it.
-别傻了 他就是卖货的 -不好意思 - Yeah. He just sells it. Come on. - Yeah, no, I'm sorry.
-我只是...-你们要多少 - l meant I just... - How many you guys want?
一剂二十块 20 bucks a pop.
每种都来一剂 One each? One pop each of drugs.
你们不是缉毒警察吧 You guys aren't narcs, are you?
老兄 别逗了 Dude, come on.
当然不是 说不定你才是缉毒警察呢 No! Maybe you're a narc.
你知道谁才会叫别人缉毒警察吗 You know who calls people narcs?
只有缉毒警察 你个缉毒警察 Narcs, narc.
首先 你的论证有点自相矛盾 First of all, your argument kind of just collapsed on itself
如果你叫我们缉毒警察 because if you call us narcs,
缉毒警察叫别人缉毒警察 if narcs call people narcs,
你也叫我们缉毒警察 这就有点 and you call us narcs, then that's kind of...
-因为你刚说了 -他们叫人... - 'Cause you just said that. - They call people..
好了 没时间跟你们废话 Look I don't have time for this shit.
你们到底是要还是不要 You guys want to do this or not?
-天哪 -当然 - Jesus. - Yes.
-当然要 -没问题 - Yes, yes. - No problem.
好了 在这里嗑掉 All right, take it here
我要确保你们没问题 so I know you're cool.
抱歉 什么 I'm sorry. What?
-我们要回家嗑 -我还要回去上课 - We were going to take it home. - I gotta go back to class,
-不然我就嗑了 -我想等我回家 - is the only thing. - l was thinking that I was going to go home,
把灯一关 maybe turn down the lights,
舒舒服服地做些怪事 getting snuggy, get a little weird.
我准备嗑完就打手枪的 I was going to take it, and then masturbate later
这不是提议 要么在这儿嗑 要么滚蛋 Okay, I'm not asking. Take it now or get the fuck out.
我还要在中午之前写完女子排球的几页 I got to finish the girls' volleyball page by lunch.
行吗 Yeah?
行啊 没什么大问题 Yeah, no, it's all good.
我喜欢在学校里嗑药 l love doing drugs at school.
我现在就把这药 I'll just take the drugs right here,
从嘴里吃进去 in our mouths.
好 就是这样 There you go. That's it.
这什么味道 烤肉味还是清新牧场 What is that? Barbecue? Cool Ranch?
玩的开心 Have fun.
-快点催吐 -好的 - You got to pull the trigger! - Okay.
快点催吐 You got to pull the trigger!
-我们得吐出来 -我吐不出 - We got to throw up, man. - I can't.
必须吐出来 那个叫比利亚姆的家伙死了 We gotta throw up. That kid. Billiam. Died.
必须吐出来 We got to throw up.
想点恶心的东西 想点恶心的东西 Just think of something gross. Think of something gross.
-你他妈快想啊 -好 好 - You fucking think of something. -Okay, all right, all right.
你奶奶的逼 有一根老二正往里插 Your grandma's vagina, and there's a dick going into it.
你他妈说的是什么 What the fuck are you saying?
不知道 我就试一试 I don't know! I'm just trying!
-我在尽力想 -我操 赶紧的啊 - I'm trying my best! I'm just trying! - Fuck! Come on, man!
老兄 我们还是互相抠嘴吧 Dude. Let's just finger each other's mouths.
-不行 -行的 - No! -Yeah.
不行 不许你把手伸进来 No, you're not fingering my mouth.
-你想死吗 你想死吗 -好吧 - Do you wanna die? Do you wanna die? - Okay, fine!
来吧 快点 快点 Let's go. Come on. Come on! Come on!
你在干嘛 找我的兴奋点吗 What are you doing? Are you trying to find my G-spot?
伸进去就行了 Just stick it in!
我不知道 我又没干过这种事 I don't know. I've never done this before!
把手指伸进去 快 Just stick it in! Go!
你他妈得剪指甲了 Cut your fucking fingernails!
天哪 Oh, God!
是我弄的吗 Is it me?
对不起 I'm sorry.
我有时实在吐不出 I just can't sometimes.
我觉得应该没事 Think we're going to be fine.
我一点感觉都没有 I don't feel anything.
我也没感觉 Me. Neither.
谁批准你们俩 You got a pass for running
在走廊乱跑乱叫了 around the hallways like a couple of ding-a-lings?
手上的许可给我看下 Pass, in your hand.
傻了吗 Hello.
该死 你们俩迟到了 Damn. You guys are late.
我得把你们俩送到校长室去 Now I'm going to have to take you to the principal's office.
不 不 别这样 拜托了 No, no, no, men. Come on, please.
拜托 求你了 Come on, pleene.
肌肉不错嘛 年轻人 You have exceptional muscle tone there, young man.
你什么时候发育的 七岁吗 When'd you go through puberty? Like. At seven or something?
搞什么 看上去你都二十好几了 You look like you're in your mid-20s, for crying out loud.
麦奎德 是吗 道格·麦奎德 McQuaid, huh? Doug McQuaid.
我看过你的档案 I read your file.
你有些与众不同 年轻人 You got a lot of something special going on there, young man.
你搞什么鬼 臭小子 What the hell was that? God damn it, son!
以后别对着我这么举手好吗 Don't ever raise your hand to me like that again, all right?
我会以为你在威胁我 I consider that a threat.
我只是想说 我是道格 I was just saying that I'm Doug.
我才是道格·麦奎德 他是布拉德 I'm Doug McQuaid. See that's Brad.
他是布拉德 That's Brad.
你是参加全区田径赛的那个新生吗 You're the new kid who's All County in track?
是的 我是道格·麦奎德 Yes, I'm Doug McQuaid,
径赛之星 这是布拉德 科学天才 the track star, and this is Brad, the science prodigy.
他跑步超快 He's really fast.
阶段一 怪笑傻笑
你们觉得这很好笑吗 Is this funny to you guys?
阶段二 出现幻觉
所以说 你是道格 你是道格 你是道格 So you're Doug. You're Doug. You're Doug.
你是道格 你是道格 You're Doug. You're Doug.
是这样的 Here's the deal.
我的田径队员都是一帮没用的废物 My track team is full of physically incapable rejects.
如果我不是教练的话 I mean. If I wasn't the coach
看他们小儿麻痹似的样子 I'd be laughing my ass off
一定会笑抽 可我是教练 at how spastic they are. But I am the coach,
所以我需要你 so I need you.
我需要一些像你这样的人才 I need me some Doug McQuaid.
明白了吗 Understand?
我要你在今天的运动会上跑4x400接力 I need you to run anchor on the 4X400 at today's track meet.
如果你去跑 我就签这个许可 You do that, and I'll sign this pass.
别朝我吹气 孩子 Don't blow on me. Son.
我没有训练过 I haven't trained.
小伙们 别逼我送你们去校长办公室 Guys, don't make me take you to the principal's office.
就这么说定了 好吗 Do we have a deal?
好 Yes.
好极了 Nice.
我不喜欢这样 把舌头收进去 I don't like that. Put your tongue back in your mouth.
把舌头收进去 把嘴闭上 Put your tongue in your mouth, and close it.
你在干嘛 停下 What are you doing? Stop it.
说真的 还挺诱惑 Actually, that's not bad.
好了 你们走吧 All right, here you go.
你们俩嗑药了吗 Are you guys on drugs?
好吧 Okay.
难得素的一颗粒子 One particle of Unobtainium
难得素: 《阿凡达》中虚构的稀有元素
与通量电容器进行核反应 has a nuclear reaction with a flux capacitor
带上这两个 改变其等中子数 Carry the two, changing its
就可以变成一只放射性蜘蛛 atomic isotoner into a radioactive spider.
去你妈的科学 Fuck you, science!
阶段三 过分自大
好了 好了 没问题了 All right, all right, we're good.
没问题了 没问题了 兄弟 We're good. We're good, man. We're good.
没问题了 宝贝 Were good, baby.
干得好 伴奏起 Good work. Hit that shit.
我要欢唱 I've gotta crow
我是最聪明的孩子 I'm just the cleverest fellow
这是我一生的财富 'Twas ever my fortune to know
我教会了我的影子 I taught a trick to my shadow
让它跟着我的脚尖走 To stick to the tip of my toe
我要欢唱 I've gotta crow
我要 I've gotta
欢唱 Crow!
克里斯托弗 感觉到了吗 Christoph, did you feel that?
你是谁 Who are you?
欢迎加入 小飞侠 Welcome aboard Peter
阶段四 歇斯底里
不 别停下 No, keep it going!
别停下 太棒了 Keep it going. That was so tight!
不 不 不 别停下 继续 No, no, no, keep it going. Keep it going.
好了 看你的了 麦奎德 All right, let'sgo, McQuaid!
好样的 All right! Yeah!
我喜欢 我喜欢你的自信 孩子 I like it! I like the confidence, son!
我知道你们都看过这种东西 I know y'all seen this shit before.
我知道你们都看过这种东西 I know you've seen this shit before.
大幅度领先 大幅度领先 我们能行 Huge lead! Huge lead! We got this. All right.
你很在状态 You're looking amped
要开始了 Here we go.
要开始了 要开始了 Here we go! Here we go!
快加速 Hey, pick it up!
不 麦奎德 快加速 你在干什么 Hey, no, McQuaid, pick it up. What are you doing?
你在干什么 加速 What are you doing? Pick it...
搞毛啊 麦奎德 What? McQuaid!
别扔接力棒 你这个蠢货 Don't throw the baton, you jackass!
搞什么飞机啊 Come on!
麦奎德 McQuaid!
朝那边跑 Run that way!
迈尔斯·戴维斯 爵士乐代表人物
瞧好了 操你妈 迈尔斯·戴维斯 Spike that! Fuck you, Miles Davis!
我们走 该死的 我们一起来 Let's go, God damn it! Let's do this!
我们走 快 Let's go! Come on!
天哪 Oh, my God.
不 不 No, no.
不 停下 No, stop.
过来 过来 Come here. Come here.
别搞这个... Don't make a...
你把接力棒当老二了 That is a baton penis.
阶段五 昏睡不醒
说到魔鬼 Speak of the devil!
老兄 你在田径赛上捣乱的那出太精彩了 Dude, that was awesome how you sabotaged that track meet, man.
有组织的运动会简直就是法西斯 太恶心了 Organized sports are so fascist. It makes me sick.
我就是这样的人 That's just what I do.
好了 兄弟 回见 Okay. Shit, man. See you around, all right?
我搞不懂这个学校 I don't get this school.
太棒了 That was awesome.
我们熬了一整夜才把这个做出来 Okay, so we stayed up all night making this.
这很棒 你们会喜欢的 It's awesome. You're really going to like it.
琴科负责拉这些线 All yarn work was done by Jenko.
警长你看 卖货的是这些校园红人 Okay, Captain, look, the dealers are the popular kids,
但他们不是真正的红人 but they're not normal popular
只是让别人相信他们很酷的一团草包 They're these crunchy granola dudes that have convinced everyone
其实一点都不酷 that they're cool, and they're not cool.
他们老土又装逼 这种人必须被制止 It's backwards and unnatural, and it's got to be stopped.
大卖家是艾瑞克·摩尔森 Lead dealer, Eric Molson. Alpha dog.
有范有款没用的小白脸 Sick chicks. Killer steeze.
今年组织了抗艾滋病活动 Did the AIDS run this year
他已经被伯克利提前录取了 He's getting into Berkeley, early admish,
而且他很喜欢我 and he totally gets me.
这东西谁搞的 你们得自闭症了吗 Who put this together? Are you autistic?
这确实是艺术 长官 因为事情是这样的 It is artistic, sir, because the thing is,
注: 英语中自闭症与艺术谐音
-这些线其实...-我们在做一张 - the yarn actually indicates... - We're compiling a list
学校嫌疑人的关系图 这些是买家 of suspicious types at school. The users are here.
这个孩子今天上午还在跟一棵树说话 This kid was actually talking to a tree this morning.
废话少说 Cut the bullshit!
我想知道是谁在供货 I want to know who's the supplier
我们还不知道 We don't know.
所以我们在他脸上画了个问号 That's why there's a question mark on his face.
他并不长这样 这个问号是我们加的 That's not the way his face looks. That's just a question mark.
找到卖家 查出供货人 Infiltrate the dealers. Find the supplier.
有什么难的 Simple.
你们好像把整个案子解决了嘛 Sounds like you guys really cracked the whole case.
干得漂亮 你们俩棒极了 Great job. You guys are on fire.
真为你们骄傲 So proud.
好像你们干了什么大事一样 Like you could do any better?
我们刚刚在格希尔德高中的五金店 We just brought down a group of wanna be thugs
打垮了一帮拆车的小混混 stripping down cars in the GeHield High metal shop.
-什么 -而你们却干坐着 - What? - Meanwhile, you two were standing around
互捅菊花 finger-popping each others assholes.
我们没有互捅菊花 Were not finger-popping each other's assholes.
我们在干正经事 What we're doing is getting shit done.
是啊 事实上 Yeah, as a matter of fact,
我已经快要打入化学教室里的 I'm about to in filtrate a super high-tech
超高科技毒品制造链了 drug manufacturing ring in the chemistry classroom.
-暗号 -开门 - Password! - Open the door!
你得说暗号 You have to say the password.
不好意思 你说什么 I'm sorry. What?
你在... What are you...
天哪 Geez.
你们在干什么 你们怎么拿到钥匙的 What are y'all doing? How'd you get a key in here?
格里戈斯老师给的 我们可以学习 辅导 卖爆丸 Ms. Griggs gave us one so we could work, tutor, deal Bakugan.
什么爆丸 你们在贩毒吗 Bakugan? You dealing drugs?
-我看看 你们在贩毒吗 -没有 - Let me see. You dealing drugs? - No.
就是个卡片游戏 是个混合卡片游戏 It's just a card game. It's, like, a hybrid card game.
看到了吗 它会弹开翅膀 See? They open up.
爆丸战士 Battle Brawlers.
-你们没干什么违法的事吧 -没有 - You're doing anything illegal? - No.
-你又是来干嘛的 -我来学习 - What are you doing in here? - I'm here to study.
你可以用这个教室 Good. You could use it.
你确实跟不上进度了 You're pretty far behind, so...
你才跟不上 我这是超前了 You're behind. I'm ahead.
-我什么都知道 -是吗 - I know everything. -Really?
共价键是什么 What's a covalent bond?
去你妈的 懒得告诉你 Fuck you, man. I don't need to tell you.
抱歉 我不是故意的 I wasn't trying to be rude. Sorry.
我只是 不觉得你什么都知道 I just. I don't think you know everything.
我都知道 I know everything.
好吧 Okay.
你们这里 What kind of bullshit do they say about
是怎么讲共价键的 a covalent bond in this school?
我们讲的是 两个原子通过共用电子 They say it's when two atoms share both their electrons,
相互连接 建立共价键 it helps them to stick together.
你要是乐意 我可以给你做考试辅导 I could help you out if you want, tutor you for the test.
你弄这些手机做什么 What are you doing with all those phones anyway?
给手机破解 赚钱上大学 I crack and jailbreak kids' phones to try and save for college.
帮他们转换无线运营商 You know, I switch their wireless carriers,
搞到限制应用程序 get them restricted apps.
你能监听电话什么的吗 Can you listen in on phone calls and stuff?
不 不能安装间谍软件 远程监控通话 No. No, I can't install a spyware to remotely monitor calls
也不能监控话筒 or anything that the mic picks up.
-完全不能 -你是说真的不能吗 - I can't do that at all. - Wait, you can't do it?
不能 No, I can't.
-他这是讽刺吗 -不知道 - Is he being sarcastic? - I don't know.
这么说你可以 So you can.
喜欢动漫是酷 Liking comic books is popular.
环保意识 待人宽厚 Environmental awareness, being tolerant.
我要是晚生十年 If I was just born 10 years later,
绝对是学校里最酷的人 I would've been the coolest person ever.
我知道 太扯淡了 I know. It's bullshit.
你知道吗 You know what?
我想明白原因了 I totally know the cause.
都怪《欢乐合唱团》这破东西 Glee. Fuck you, Glee.
《欢乐合唱团》福克斯电台情节音乐喜剧 乐天派高中教师带领一个由学校里不合群怪人组成的合唱团 追求全国大奖
哥们 我不得不说 这样挺爽的 Man, I got to say, this is kind of awesome.
我能变得受欢迎 和校园名人打成一片 I might become popular. I might get in with the popular kids.
我们只要胡作非为一下 We just have to do something
赢得他们的信任 就行了 wildly irresponsible to earn their trust.
你是说 我们该搞个派对 You're saying we should throw a party?
我邀请茉莉 茉莉就会邀请艾瑞克 I'll invite Molly, and then Molly will invite Eric,
这样 我很快就和他称兄道弟了 and that'll be the quickest way for me to bro down with him.
我们一起混入受欢迎的那帮人 不是更好 Wouldn't it be better it we both infiltrated the cool kids' group?
你最好和书呆子们混熟 I think it would be better if you get in with the nerdy kids
看看他们在搞什么 and see what's going on over there.
这样更有利于调查 That'd be the best thing for the case.
是 有道理 Yeah. I mean, I guess that makes sense.
-喂 -是茉莉吗 - Hello? - Hey. Is this Molly?
请讲 Speaking.
我是施密特 Hey. It's Schmidt.
施密格 道格·施密格·麦奎德 Schmug. It's Doug Schmug McQuaid.
你好 Hey, man.
你还打电话 有点诡异啊 It's so weird that you're calling me.
我一般都发短信 除了远房亲戚来电话 I pretty much text except for when a random old relative calls.
打电话是想说说 我们要合演这个剧 I was just calling 'cause we're costarring in this play together
-然后 -喂 - and... - Hello?
妈 把电话挂了 Mom, get off the phone!
对不起 我的道格 小小少年 Sorry, my Doug, my teen son.
妈 Mom!
我爱你 宝贝 小道格 道格拉斯·麦奎德 I love you, honey, Dougie, Doug, Douglas McQuaid.
妈 我认真的 别说了 Mom! So serious right now! Stop!
抱歉 我妈能烦死人 I'm sorry. My mom's such a dick.
她有点 爱的我快窒息了 She just, like, smothers me with affection
让我觉得自己像五岁小孩 and makes me feel like I'm five years old.
我理解你这样的 You're a sharer. I dig that.
我都18岁了 Well, I'm 18 years old,
我妈还每天给我带午饭呢 and my mom still packs a lunch for me every day.
有个月 她给我买了43个毛绒玩具 There was this one month, where she bought me 43 stuffed animals.
医生觉得我都能自发长出个阴道来了 The doctor thought I was gonna spontaneously grow a vagina.
我没长 声明一下 I didn't, though, just to be clear.
是 因为你本来就有一个 Yeah, because you already had one.
对 我已经有一个了 Exactly. I already had one.
谁需要两个阴道啊 没人需要 And you don't need two vaginas. You just don't.
其实 你可以用一个放零钱 Although you could use one as a coin purse.
我从来就没收到过毛绒玩具 I never got any stuffed animals growing up.
等等 其实有 我收到过 Wait, actually, that's not true. I did.
我爸抛弃我们的时候 送了我个毛绒小狗 My dad gave me a stuffed puppy the day he bailed on us.
我就是开玩笑 I'm just fucking with you.
这玩笑太诡异了 That is a weird joke.
我还真以为你爸抛弃了你们 I thought your dad abandoned your family.
他是抛弃我们了 No, he did walk out on us, though.
但他连个玩具狗也没给我留 But he didn't even leave me a stuffed puppy.
只有破碎的梦 Just broken dreams.
天哪 这个 我只能说 Man. Well, I guess, to that, I would say,
其实世上还是有好人的 that there are some good guys out there,
不是所有人都像他一样 and I wouldn't let, you know, one experience taint your memory.
天哪 My God.
你在哽咽吗 让你不开心了 抱歉 Are you getting choked up? I'm sorry if I made you upset.
没有 只是 我不喜欢男的总欺负女的 No, it's just, you know, I don't like when guys are mean to girls.
好吧 谢谢 Yeah. Well, thanks.
换个话题 Normal transition here.
其实我下周要开派对 你来吧 Actually, I'm having a party next weekend. You should come!
你和艾瑞克和瓦里奥什么的 You and Eric and Juario, whatever.
我去Facebook上发个状态行吗 Do you mind if I just put, like, a posting on Facebook?
好 Okay. Yeah, yeah!
我回头再给你打电话 I should call you back.
好了 我们学校见 你人很好 Well, all right, I'll see you at school. You're a great person.
-再见 拜拜 -再见 - Bye-bye. Bye. - Bye.
你到底在搞什么 What the fuck are you...
你们打算开派对 Are y'all throwing a party?
-你说什么 -微博上传的到处都是 - What? - There's rumors in the Twittersphere.
如果你们哪个 And if any of my officers
被抓到教唆未成年人饮酒 are caught giving alcohol to minors,
我就把他扔监狱里去 they'll find theyself in prison
给他嘴里塞个管子 with a snorkel duct-taped to they mouth
我就往里排下水 and me shittin' down that snorkel.
形象的很 谢谢 That's extremely vivid. Thank you.
你太好了 你俩最棒了 You're the best. You are the best.
-天哪 -我们爱你 - My God. - We love you.
-在酒庄玩的愉快 -你俩在家乖乖的 - Enjoy the vineyard. - You boys be good, now.
为我们做这些 真是太出乎意料了 Yeah, I can't believe you guys did this for us.
再见 Bye!
我们爱你 "We love you"?
你为什么跟我妈说 我爱你 Why did you say "I love you" to my mom?
-入戏了 闭嘴 -太诡异了 - I'm in character. Shut up. - It's weird.
看看 就像真兄弟一样 Look at this. It's kind of like we're brothers.
等等 我们怎么买酒 Wait, how are we going to buy alcohol?
我可没有假身份证 I don't have a fake ID.
烈酒 香烟
烈酒
我们到哪里去搞毒品 How are we going to get drugs for the party?
坏了 No.
证物
这有一磅可卡因 We got a pound of coke.
就是让他们爽一爽 We're trying to show them a good time,
又不是要把他们人生毁了 not ruin their fucking lives.
一磅大麻怎么样 Pound of marijuana?
棒极了 Best party ever.
证物
混合堆肥
超炫派对混音——布拉德出品
敬一个出色的想法 To a brilliant idea
来自一个我最最喜爱的 from my brilliant brother
才华横溢的弟兄 that I love so very much.
这派对肯定特火 And this is gonna fucking rock.
-干杯 伙计 -干杯 - Cheers, man. - Cheers.
-谁请的你们 -我 - Who invited you guys? - I did!
-派对就在这里 The party's here!
-扎克 -你好 伙计 - What's up, Zack? - Hey, buddy.
你好 罗曼 What's up, Roman?
太疯狂了 这算是 This is crazy. This is, like,
我干的最疯狂的事了 the craziest thing I've ever been a part of.
哥们 艾瑞克呢 他说了会来 Where is Eric, man? He said he'd be here.
薯片够吗 Do we have enough chips?
这些歌是不是太活泼了 Is this playlist too dance-y?
-感觉太活泼了 -太活泼了 - Feels too dance-y. - Too dance-y?
-你在说什么 -不知道 就是感觉太活泼了 - What are you talking about? - I don't know, it just feels dance-y.
你干什么 What're you doing?
-那是我妈的科克帕里花瓶 -给我 知道了 - That's my mom's Kokopelli vase. -I got it, I got it.
道格 道格 Doug, Doug, hey!
你好啊 保罗·布莱特 茉莉战警 Hey, Paul Blart: Molly Cop.
原电影名为"Paul Blart: Mall Cop"《百货战警》
冷死了 Such a bad joke.
是 冷死了 Terrible, terrible.
-你俩认识的吧 -对 - You guys know each other, right? - Yeah.
准备好 艾瑞克来了 看着点暗号 Get ready, get ready, there's Eric. Wait for the signal.
然后你像个小屁孩似的进来了 And then you come in here looking like a rock-solid 10.
是吗 What?
伙计 你好 What's up, man, how you doing?
环保卫士啊 Eco Suave.
我很喜欢这房子的装修 Wow, so I'm really digging this decor.
很有印第安风格 Very Native American.
是 我父母其实都很喜欢 Yeah, our parents are actually
-印第安风格 -行动 - really into Native American... - Let's rock and roll.
-抱歉 -你们在干什么 - Sorry. - What are y'all doing?
拜托 都没看到艾瑞克吗 Come on. Did you guys even see Eric?
艾瑞克就站这 你都看不到吗 Seriously, did you not see Eric?
不是说你 伙计 你兄弟太逊了 No offense, man, but your brother sucks.
太扫兴了 没什么有意思的人 Yeah. This is butt. There's, like, no hot budes here.
-伙计 我们走吧 -走了 伙计 - Man let's bounce. -We're out of here, man.
别 别别 拜托 你们才来 No. No. No. Come on, you guys just got here, you just got here.
拜托 至少让我带你们转一圈 Come on, let me at least give you a tour.
好了 伙计们 成功了 能行的 努力 Okay, boys, come on, we did it, we can do this, just go,
越快越好 just go as fast as you possibly can.
取出SIM卡 Taking out the SIM card.
印第安口音
取出SIM卡信息 打败艾瑞克 Taking down Eric with the SIM card inform ation
《犯罪现场调查》什么玩意 Come on, CSI the shit out of this thing.
-你喝醉了 -没有 - Are you drunk? - No.
你喝醉过吗 Have you even been drunk before?
-没有 但是 -拿来 - No, but... - Give me this.
-什么 -能叫几个女的上来吗 - What? - Can we get some bitches up in here?
这里都是男的 'Cause it's just boys right now.
不行 不能叫女的上来 No, you can't get any bitches up here.
这是我父母的卧室 This is my parents' bedroom.
-见鬼 兄弟 给点隐私 -该死 - What the fuck, bro? Some privacy! - Shit, shit, shit!
那个3P可够恶心的 And that is a really gross three-way.
在后面的那个女的算怎么回事 But what was the girl in the back doing?
埃尔斯沃斯的仓库在开锐舞派对 Warehouse rave in Ellsworth.
好的 Cool, yeah.
伙计 谢谢你的款待 Hey, man thank you for the hospitality,
但是我们真得走了 你懂的 but we gotta get going. Yon know how it is, yeah?
还用你说 Dude, tell me about it.
好了没 他要走了 Is it ready? He's gonna leave right now.
正在提取 It's extracting right now.
再不好就坏事了 弄好了没有 Dude, it's now or never! Is it ready or not?
你自己看 请稍候 正在提取SIM卡信息 Read this. "Please wait. Extracting data from SIM card."
见鬼 要露馅 Shit! It's a bust.
-就随便玩玩 -是 - Keep it casual. - Yeah.
-随性的 -太对了 - Go with the flow, dude. - Cool, man.
-我不喜欢按部就班的 -说对了 - I don't like to make plans or whatever. - You got it.
-不过谢谢啊 伙计 -好的 - Thank you again, though, man. - All right.
艾瑞克 艾瑞克 艾瑞克 兄弟 你好啊 Eric, Eric, Eric. Hey, man, what's up?
你来干什么 斯考特 Hey, why you here, Scott?
肯尼迪高中今晚没派对吗 What, Kennedy High isn't having any parties tonight?
没 听说你们派对有新玩意了 No, I heard you guys were partying with some new stuff.
我来问问东西哪里来的 我们也好分一杯羹 Wanted to know your hookup so me and my boys can get in on it.
哥跟人有约定了 所以 Got other commitments on that front, so, you know...
我没跟你客气 I wasn't asking.
暂停 暂停 伙计 让我来 我能搞定 Take five, take five, man, let me get this. I got this.
-是吗 你确定 -我来 - Yeah? You sure? - I got this one.
你好 大家伙 你是谁啊 Hey, big player. I don't know who you are.
-不用你操心 -我当然操心 - Don't worry about who I am. - I'm worried about it.
-为什么 -因为你在我的派对 - Why? - Cause you're at my party right now, dude.
这是我的地盘 我心灵的寄托 蠢货 This is my temple, this is where I come to find peace, dawg,
你跑来 像瓷器店里乱撞的公牛一样 and you're coming in here like an emotional bull in a china shop,
打碎我的花瓶 还跟我的人胡搅蛮缠 metaphorically knocking over vases, messing with my crew,
然后我就 怎么着 斯考特 and I'm like, "What, Scott,
怎么着 斯考特 怎么着 怎么着 斯考特 what, Scott, what, what, what, what, Scott?"
-你这是逗我玩呢吗 -是啊 伙计 - It's that kind of party? - Yeah. Dude.
事实上 这里挺热的 Matter of fact, it's getting hot in here, huh?
-你要来真的 -可真了 - No, it's getting real. - It's getting very real.
是 跟真人秀一样真的 Yeah. It's like seven strangers living in one house. True story.
-你跟我玩真人秀 -好 来啊 哥们 - You want Real World? - Yeah, let's do it, man.
-来啊 看你怎么玩真的 -哥就跟你玩真的 - Come on. What's your Real... - Here's Real World.
什么声音 你们听见没有 What was that? Did you hear that?
够真不 Real enough for you?
施密特 不对 道格 Schmidt. Doug.
-怎么办 -打他 - What do I do? - Hit him!
该死 比他打我还疼 Shit! That hurt worse than when he hit me!
没你这么打的 Fight normal.
你 我是认真的 Yo. I'm serious.
抱歉 Sorry.
-看我打不死你的 -抱歉 真的很抱歉 - I'll fucking kill you. - I'm sorry! I'm very sorry!
拜托 君子动口不动手 Seriously, use your words, use your words!
我踢着他的蛋了 I kicked him in the nuts.
别打了 伙计 不打了 不打了 Fight's over, dude! Fight's over! Fight's over!
伙计 看着点我妈的东西 No, watch my mom's shit, man!
-看我打不死你的 -小心我妈的花瓶 - I'm gonna fucking kill you. - You'll knock over my mom's vase!
-去你妈的花瓶 -管他呢 看着 - Fuck your mom's vase! - Fuck this!
见鬼 Shit!
这才是我兄弟 That's my brother!
-太疯狂了 -你太酷了 - That was insane! - You're so cool!
看见没有 太疯狂了 Did you see that shit? That was crazy.
见鬼 Shit.
我什么时候被扎了 When did I get stabbed?
太棒了 That's awesome.
那是警察 Is that a cop?
哪里 Where?
不是 给你 No. It's not. Here.
能回去拿手机太好了 I'm so glad we're going back to get my phone.
希望不会吵醒施密特 I just hope we don't wake up Schmidty.
他现在是警察了 天哪 Oh, my God, he's a policeman now.
感觉我们是和缉毒警住一起 It's like we're living with a narc.
小家伙可乖了 The boy is an angel.
拔出来 Pull it out!
拔出来 拔出来 拔出来 拔出来 Pull it out! Pull it out! Pull it out!
对不住了 Sorry!
我们来两杯酒 Okay, let's take some shots.
喝 喝 Shots! shots!
LMFAO的《Party Rock Anthem》
就像不戴套 和地球母亲做爱一样 That's like us fucking Mother Earth without a condom.
酒吧里 聚会火热 In the club, party rock
你的女孩 跟帅哥一起 Lookin' for your girl? She on my jock
我们此时热舞不停 Nonstop when we in the spot
左右摇摆躲躲闪闪 Booty move away like she on the block
酒在哪里 请告诉我 Where the drink? I got to know
纹身紧身裤 一切因为我最酷 Tight jeans, tattoo 'cause I'm rock and roll
今夜我们火热派对 Party rock is in the house tonight
每人都要尽情享受 Everybody just have a good time
我们将令你忘我狂欢 And we gonna make you lose your mind
每人都要尽情享受 Everybody just have a good time
来吧 Let's go
今夜我们火热派对 Party rock is in the house tonight
每人都要尽情享受 Everybody just have a good time
这是怎么回事 What the fuck is going on?
安妮 等等 Annie, hang on.
开什么玩笑 Are you fucking kidding me?
都从我房子里出去 Get out of my house.
我说了 出去 派对结束了 I said get out! The party's over!
对不起 妈 对不起 I'm sorry, Mom, I'm sorry!
妈妈来了 The mom is coming!
-听我说 -淡定 淡定 - Listen to me! - Chill out! Chill out!
放开我 Let go of me!
在朋友面前这样 太丢脸了 You're embarrassing me in front of my friends!
给我回来 你个废物 Get back here, you shit!
哥们 这太疯狂了 Dude, that was so crazy, man.
这绝对是几年来最好的派对 I swear, best party I've been to in years.
哥们 我经常这么抽疯的 Dude, I'm doing crazy stuff like that, like, all the time, man.
是 必须的 I bet you are.
哥们 我现在太激动了 天哪 Dude I'm so amped right now, God!
你 伙计 我喜欢你 You, dude, I like you, man.
愿意赚点外快不 How do you feel about making a little extra money?
不管是什么 我都入伙 Whatever it is. I'm in.
好 是这样 All right, here's the deal.
我自己卖不了这么多 Okay, I can't sell all this shit on my own,
但我只带我喜欢的人一起干 but I only bring in people I like.
你做的好 就让你入伙 Okay, you do good, maybe we bring you in on what we're doing,
介绍你给我的上家 怎么样 I introduce you to my hookup. How's that sound?
-没问题 -兄弟 - Cool with me. - My man.
这就对了 That is my man...
疯了 我都跑丢了 That was nuts. I lost you guys.
谢谢你的派对 伙计 Hey, thank you again for the party, man.
走吧 Come on!
我爱老二 I love dick?
你觉着很好笑吗 You think that's funny?
《纯真年代》的蠢货 "Wonder Years douche"?
画8岁小孩吹喇叭 What kind of a sick animal draws an ejaculating penis
这人得多变态 into an 8-year-olds mouth?
不一定 也可以是 一架飞机在发射 It's arguably, like, an airplane throwing up.
那画的什么 我看不出来吗 You think I dont know that's a dick and balls?
老娘我见多了 I know all about dick and balls!
我可是和小罗伯特·唐尼一起混过派对的 I partied with Robert Downey Jr. before he got sober
那会他还没学好 可比现在有意思多了 when he was really fucked up and a lot of fun!
现在起 你们俩要做家务 You know what? From now on, yon're gonna do some chores.
给我把衣服洗了 叠好 You're gonna wash the laundry, you're gonna fold it,
洗碗 割草坪 you're gonna do the dishes, you're gonna mow the lawn...
哥们 我有个惊喜 Dude, I have a surprise for you.
昨晚派对上 我拿了艾瑞克的手机 Last night at the party, I took Eric's phone
然后让扎克装了个远程监控设施 and I had Zack put this monitoring device in it,
这样他搞什么 so we're gonna get to hear
我们都听的一清二楚 every single thing that little prick is up to.
我觉得这不是个好主意 Dude I don't know if that was a good idea.
什么 What?
-当时被发现了呢 -没被发现啊 - What if you had gotten found out? - But it worked.
这算是 我干过的最聪明的事了 This is, like, the smartest move I've ever pulled,
所以 不好意思 你为什么生我气了 so, I'm sorry, what are you getting mad at me for?
我没生你的气 你有事做 我挺高兴的 I'm not getting mad at you. I'm glad, you have something to do.
好 Good.
N.W.A的《冲出康普顿》
冲出康普顿 走出一个混账 名叫艾斯·库伯 Straight outta Compton, Crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube
康普顿 美国加利福尼亚州南部一城市
你好 What's up?
N.W.A 上世纪90年代活跃的嘻哈音乐团体
他来自一个团体 名叫N.W.A From the gang called Niggaz with Attitudes
退伍时 给了我把短猎枪 When I'm called off, I got a sawed-off
扣扣扳机 就尸横遍野 Squeeze the trigger and bodies are hauled off
干的好 施密特 Great job, Schmidt.
冲出康普顿 走出另一个混账 Straight outta Compton, another crazy-ass nigga
干掉流氓越多 名气越来越大 More punks I smoke, yo, my rep gets bigger
我是超级混账 你我心知肚明 I'm a bad motherfucker and you know this
那些娘炮不会像我这样 But the pussy-ass niggas won't show this
-密码 -给佐德将军跪了 - Password! - Kneel before Zod!
星球大战经典台词
准许进入 You may enter.sss
谢谢佐德将军 Thank you, Zod.
开始弄窃听电缆吧 Let's tap that wire?
我们正打算拿几个化学试剂出去混 We were just about to go outside with a bunch of chemicals.
看能爆炸不 We were gonna test what blows up.
窃听的事 不是特着急吧 There's no reason the wiretap is super urgent, right?
没什么说的通的理由 Not that I can think of that would make sense.
加油 再来点 Go for it, go for it.
-小心 -跑 快跑 - Look out. - Go, go, go!
太棒了 Yes!
这就对了 Yes, that's what I'm talking about!
这就对了 That's what I'm talking about!
我爱死玩科学了 I love this science shit!
你们整天就干这个 再来一遍 This is what you guys do all day? Let's do it again.
警车
道格: 我的演出服 是不是暴露了我是女的了
试试爷们儿点儿
购物中心
你在给茉莉发短信 Are you texting Molly?
什么 What?
我没有 茉莉 I don't... Molly...
可能吧 这怎么 Maybe. Is that...
没事的 伙计 Whoa, it's cool, man, come on.
我又不是要拴着女人什么的 I'm not some, like, '50s letter man who pins a girl.
我和她是总在一起 但是真没什么 I mean, yeah, we blow each other sometimes, but it's not a thing.
我就是 我也不知道 I just, like... I don't know,
我觉得 没有谁该完全占有谁 明白 I don't believe in possessions, ja feel?
明白 我理解 Ja feel, ja definitely feel.
-对的 -施密特 - Yeah. - Schmidty?
施密特 Schmidty.
菲姨 Phyllis.
-我马上回来 -好 - I'll be right back, dude. - Okay.
最近怎么样啊 我最爱的警官 Hey. How are you? How is my favorite police officer?
听着 Okay.
你妈妈告诉我 你在做卧底 Your mother told me that you are undercover.
听着 现在不方便说这些 Listen, now is not a really good time.
你现在就在卧底吗 Are you undercover right now?
对 我现在就在卧底 Yes, it means I'm undercover right now.
那边那些是坏人吗 Are those the bad guys over there?
他们有枪吗 天哪 太刺激了 Do they have guns? My God. God. This is so exciting.
我得给安妮打电话 她会激动死的 I have got to call Annie. She is gonna die.
听说那个叫琴科的家伙跟你搭档 I heard that that Jenko boy is your partner.
-我的电话去哪了 -够了 够了 - Where is my phone? - Okay, okay.
闭上你的嘴 Shut your fucking mouth.
闭上你的嘴 你听懂没有 Shut your fucking mouth, you understand me?
怎么回事 Let's go check this out.
你要再不闭嘴 我就一拳打你脸上 I will straight-up punch you in the face if you do not shut up.
-你不能 -正中面门的那种 - There is no... - A straight-up face punch.
你再这样 真要把我弄死 I swear to God, you're gonna get me killed.
-各位 -你这样 - Hey, yo. - That is...
该死 她刚要抓我老二 Shit! She just tried to grab my dick, dude!
-什么 你去抓他的 -她要抓我老二 - What? You tried to grab his... - She tried to grab my junk.
她说 我有关节炎 She was like, "Oh, my God, I have arthritis,"
我手疼 我得抓一把那个老二 "it hurts my hand, I need to grab a handful of that dick."
我就说 你给我放开 I was like, "Get the fuck off me!"
她居然说要抓你的老二 She said, "I need to grab a handful of that dick"?
开始感觉好 后来就奇怪了 And if felt good, but then it felt weird for a second,
我就推了她一把 我们得离开 so I pushed her. We got to get out of here.
好 成 我们走 All right, cool, let's get the...
施密特: 不用等我 和艾瑞克在一起
你爸妈不介意你带人来的 So your parents are just cool with having people over whenever?
对 他们晚上不怎么在家 Yeah, you know, they're out most nights.
对我基本是自由放养 Pretty laissez-faire about the whole thing.
你也太幸福了 爸妈都不管你 You're so lucky your parents don't give a shit about you.
是吧 Right?
这地方太棒了 This place is awesome.
你好 Hey, what's up?
你好 How's it going?
这拥抱有点出乎意料啊 Wow, that's a bigger hug than I was expecting.
抱歉 就是看到你很高兴 Sorry. I'm happy to see you.
我也是 Yeah. Yeah, me, too.
不错 Good?
-来吧 进来 -对 我们 - All right, come on. - Yeah, let's..
我带了塔可钟[墨西哥食品] I brought tacos so that's cool.
颠覆 颠覆 我要剧透 Try to turn it, try to turn it, spoiler alert
剧透 剧透 Spoiler alert, spoiler alert
伙计们 我们今天一定得搞定这个环保小白脸 Hey, boys, this eco-pussy is going down today.
打败环保 小白脸 Take down eco-pussy
地球母亲 正在逝去 Mother Earth, Mother Earth is dying
当雨滴落下 And when it rains
意味着她正在哭泣 It means that beautiful bitch is crying
-真的不是行星 -肯定是行星 - It's really not a planet. - It's for sure a planet.
冥王星是行星 Pluto is a planet.
-好了 -曾经是 - It's ready! - It used to be a planet.
-做好了 -现在不是了 - It's ready. - Not anymore.
减排 复用 回收 Reduce, reuse, recycle
我有点不好意思了 I'm embarrassed.
-唱完总有种被看穿了的感觉 -别那么想 - I always feel exposed after playing. - Do not feel exposed.
我得去下卫生间 I got to use the bathroom.
-那里吗 -对 就那边 - Is it in there? - Yeah, yeah, right up there, dude.
有了 有了 All right, all right, all right, all right. Damn that.
话筒打开了 来听听他们在干什么 The mic is live and we can hear how the other half lives.
发件人冰爽麻 主题皮纳塔
你在干什么 What are you doing?
有声音 I heard something.
能问你个问题吗 坐 Hey, can I ask you something? Sit down.
好吧 Okay.
我想嘱咐你 I just want to make sure
不管你和艾瑞克在搞什么 that you and Eric are gonna be careful
一定要小心 with whatever it is that you're getting involved in.
好 我保证会小心 Yeah, I promise we will.
要是出什么事了 就太不好了 It would just suck if something bad happened,
因为你人很好 because you're a good guy.
是 我也觉得你人很好 Yeah, no, I feel the same way about you,
除了你是女生这一点 except girl version.
你是女生 You're a girl.
我是的 I am. Yeah.
所以我才穿了这裙子 That's why I put this dress on,
好提醒你注意 to remind you. Exactly.
要演出了 你兴奋吗 Are you excited about the play?
是的 Yes.
是啊 看得出 Yeah, you were just
你斗志满满 right in there with excitement.
-毫不犹豫 -我很兴奋 - No hesitash. - I'm very excited.
是啊 Yeah.
我这样子是不是特二 Does that make me a super nerd?
一点也不 No, not at all.
我们能同台演出 We get to act together.
他太嫩了 肯定吊不到她 What a vagina. He has no chance with her.
妈的 对不起 Shit. Sorry.
你是舞会委员会的 You're on the prom committee.
你觉得会好玩吗 Do you think it's going to be fun?
是她自己提的舞会吗 Did she just bring up prom on her own?
是她 她提起的 她怎么想的 She did, she just brought up prom. What is she doing?
我觉得肯定很好玩 I think it's going to be awesome.
舞会很重要 非常重要 Prom eats a dong. Multiple dongs.
那些口头上说 All right, anyone who says
不关心舞会的人心底里特别关心 they don't care about prom actually secretly does.
我们带谁去舞会 Who we gonna take to the prom?
没人愿意和我们去 No one's going to prom with us.
得了吧 想象下 Come on, picture it.
你们从一辆白色林肯上下来 You pull up in a white stallion of a limo.
搂着美女辣妹 You got fine-ass honeys with you.
穿着帅倒一片 You're dressed to the nines with your best buds.
身后有白鸽飞出 这里用慢镜头 Doves fly out behind you, slow motion.
为什么有鸽子 Doves. Why doves?
鸽子能让你更有派头 'Cause doves make you look like a badass, that's why.
我表示怀疑 I am pretty skeptical,
但如果 有个风趣的男生邀请我 but maybe, if someone fun asked me,
我会去的 I would go.
你 是不是和艾瑞克 Aren't... Isn't... Aren't you and Eric...
你不和艾瑞克一起去吗 Wouldn't you and Eric go together?
不和他去 Not that I know of.
你是否 Would you...
他要噎住了 He's going to choke.
他以前常噎住的 你们等着看吧 He always chokes. He's going to choke, wait for it.
那你 So would...
你愿意 Would you...
天啊 你还好吧 Oh, my God. Are you okay?
是的 Yeah.
这就是他噎住时的声音 That is the actual sound of choking.
我在想 I was wondering if you...
你是否 Would you
愿意 maybe want to go
和我一起去舞会 with me to prom?
你是否愿意 Would you want to go to me...
和我去舞会 Maybe with me to prom?
是的 Yes.
我愿意和你去 I would love to go to prom with you.
什么 她答应了 What? She just said yes!
道格 好样的 Good for you, Doug.
谢谢你邀请我 Thank you for asking.
手放这里 Put her there, man.
就放这里 Just put... Put it right there.
我这不正放着吗 I'm putting it right there.
你们俩在这里啊 Yeah. There you guys are.
你好啊 兄弟 What's up, my man?
你好 Hi. How you doing?
你好 Whazzup? Yeah.
道格 为我们答疑解惑 Doug... Okay, settle an argument.
你和你哥不是亲兄弟吧 You and your brother aren't related, right?
你们长相差太多了 'Cause you look totally different.
他是领养的 He's adopted.
我们一直怀疑他出生很差 We all suspect from a very lame family.
他今晚人呢 Where is he tonight?
可能在家里 Probably at home with those lame tools
和那些个呆子们混一起吧 he hangs outwith. I don't know.
你们知道汤姆·克鲁斯总是看雨人不爽 You know how Tom Cruise is always pissed off at Rain Man?
电影《雨人》中主角 汤姆·克鲁斯饰演雨人的弟弟
我现在就是这情况 只不过布拉德数学很差 That's like my life, except Brad is really shitty at math.
你弟太浑了 Your brother's kind of a dick.
是啊 Well, yeah.
他真浑 He kind of is, isn't he?
别听了 Don't listen to that.
我没关系 I don't give a fuck.
老兄 和艾瑞克聊天太有趣了 Dude, Eric is the funniest IM-er.
天啊 Oh, fuck.
伙计们 见到你们真高兴 Oh, hey, guys. It's so funny seeing you here.
你们好吗 其实我随口问问 How are you? Guess what, I don't care.
我们刚完成了第三所高中的任务 We just closed our third high school operation.
来看看我们在肯尼迪高中发现了什么 And check what we found at Kennedy.
看来我们要为你们收拾烂摊子了 Looks like we're going to have to do your job for you.
你们这毒品流通到其他学校了 笨蛋们 Your drugs is spreading to different schools now, sucker.
你们没有阻止毒品泛滥 没有获得任何线索 You failed to stop the outbreak, and you have no leads!
我们快没时间了 We are running out of time!
如果你们不找出供货人 You either find the supplier,
我就把你们踢出龙虎街 or I'm gonna jump your asses off Jump Street!
你的意思我完全明白 I totally understand where you're coming from, sir,
我昨天听见艾瑞克 but, look, I heard Eric talking on the phone yesterday
与一个非常可疑的人打电话 with somebody that sounded very suspect
皮纳塔 身体里面可以装糖果或礼物的玩偶
他要带一个皮纳塔去会面 about meeting up with a stuffed pinata.
那个是指要嘿咻吗 Is that a code for sex?
-皮纳塔? 真的吗 -是的 - Pinata? Really? - Yep.
还记得那个装在艾瑞克电话上的窃听器吗 Remember that wiretap I put on Eric's phone?
你昨天晚上逍遥快活的时候 While you were having the
我在搞监听工作 time of your life last night, I was listening.
我听见 I overheard a phone call
艾瑞克和一个人说什么皮纳塔 between Eric and some dude about a pinata.
你就听到这些 That's all you heard?
是的 Yep.
我太紧张了 I am so nervous.
我们马上要在全校面前首演 We are about to premiere in front of the whole school.
如果我在台上吐你一身 你不要怪我 I apologize in advance if I throw up on you onstage.
问个问题 Serious question, though.
这身怎么样 How do I look?
帅呆了 Ravishing.
会不会太性感了 Is it too sexy of an outfit?
下蹲试试 Bend the knee a little bit.
是太性感了 Yep, it is.
有你同台 这戏演起来会轻松很多 Oh, it's going to be so much easier having you onstage with me.
真高兴能遇见你 I am so happy that I met you.
你是我唯一能信任的人 You're, like, the only guy that I can really trust.
是的 就是我 Yep. That's me.
道格 Doug.
硝酸钾 Potassium nitrate.
别嫌弃 这货很火 Don't hate. It's great.
能做氧化剂 It can act as an oxidizer.
之前不知 原来如此 I didn't know that, but now I'm wiser.
它是晶体结构 It has a crystalline structure.
还不觉得酷 就是你的错 If you can't respect that, you're a butt muncher.
火药成分全靠它 It's a key ingredient in gunpowder.
硝酸钾 别小看它 K-NO-three, don't give no grief.
能做腌牛肉 It can be used to make corned beef.
还有个名字叫硝石 It's also known as saltpeter.
-布拉德 -妈的 - Brad? - Shit.
你上哪儿去 Where are you going?
我不想弄得自己像化了妆似的 I don't want to look like it's like I'm wearing makeup.
是的 Right.
布拉德 Brad!
你这啥打扮 Whoa. What are you wearing?
硝酸钾 亏你注意到了 Potassium nitrate. Thanks for noticing.
我找你有事 I need to borrow you.
布拉德 现在不是时候 Now's not a good time, Brad.
就是现在 It's a really good time.
我的皮纳塔折腾死我了 'Cause my pinata is killing me.
这个是暗指嘿咻吗 Is that code for a sex thing?
它要离开停车场了 It's leaving the parking lot.
皮纳塔吗 Pinata?
茉莉 Molly, uh,
我马上回来 I will be right back.
我要去帮布拉德一个忙 I need to help Brad with something, okay?
我和布拉德去去就回 I just need to help Brad with something real quick.
-不行 什么啊 -我保证 - What? No. What? - I promise you...
你知道还有多久就要开演了吗 Do you understand how soon the show is starting?
我保证开幕前一定回来 I swear to you I will be back in time for curtain.
-我向你保证 -你有时间概念吗 - I swear. I swear to you. - Tell me you understand how soon...
开什么玩笑 What? Are you kidding me?
我说的没错吧 What did I say? What did I say?
那个窃听器派用场了吧 See? Whose wiretap is working for him now, huh?
妈的 Shit.
我操 Fuck!
是你说别管罚单的 You told me not to worry about the tickets!
我以为那样看上去更酷 I thought they made us look cool.
路障 Cones, cones...
开那辆实习车去 Driver's ed car.
-我来开 -想得美 - I'm driving. - No, you're not.
我一次也没开过 这次一定要开 I never get to drive. I'm driving this time.
好吧 那开吧 Fine! Drive!
-同学们 -车子借来开开 - Hey, guys. - Just borrowing this for one sec.
好的 Sure.
实习车
走 走 走 Go. Go, go, go, go.
同学 等等 你们不在名单上 Guys, hey, wait. Guys, you're not on the list.
等等 算了 管他呢 Hey, guys, wait! Ah, who cares?
-我的天啊 -太扯了吧 - Holy fucking shit. - No fucking way.
那些是公园里的人 Those are the guys from the park.
这事儿太疯狂了 That's just too crazy.
你觉得那里面是什么 What do you think's in that thing?
不知道 钱 毒品 I don't know, money, drugs.
他们可能是新的买家 也可能是供货人 They could be a new buyer, or they could be the supplier.
如果质量好 我会联系你们 If it's good, you'll hear from me.
如果质量不好 我会联系你们 If it's not good, you'll hear from me
告诉你们质量不好 about telling you how it's not good.
有道理 Makes sense.
现在滚吧 Get the fuck out of here.
好的 Yeah, no worries, man.
再见 I'll see you guys.
我们得跟着他们 顺藤摸瓜 We definitely got to follow them and find out, though.
快趴下 趴下 Get down! Get down! Get down! Get down!
-你这是干什么 -如果被他们看见 - What are you doing? - If they see us,
你就假装给我吹箫 just pretend like you're sucking my dick.
-什么 不行 -闭嘴 - What? No! - Yes. Stop.
你假装给我吹箫才对 You pretend like you're sucking my dick.
就假装在口交 No, just pretend like you're sucking my dick.
为什么要我干 Why am I automatically blowing you?
因为你他妈的穿着彼得·潘的戏服 'Cause you're in a fucking Peter Pan costume!
好吧 Okay.
好吧 我们走 Okay, let's go. Let's go, let's go.
-走 走 -好的 我们跟踪他们 - Go, go, go. - Okay, fine, we'll follow them.
但是三十分钟内我要回去演出 But we need to be back in 30 minutes for curtain.
老兄 是你踩的刹车吗 Dude, did you just hit the teacher brake?
是的 你跟得太近了 Yeah, you're following too close, dude.
他们会发现我们的 They're going to make us.
如果我退得太远 Well, if I go too far back,
那看起来更可疑 所以快松开 it's going to look even more suspicious, so just stop.
就让我来吧 God, just let me do my thing.
我知道自己在干什么 I know what I'm doing.
你要是再这么做 Seriously, if you do that again,
我捏爆你的蛋蛋 I'm going to Whac-A-Mole you in the balls.
别太靠近 Just stay back.
我郑重地对你说 I could not be more serious.
把你的脚拿开 Take your foot off the brake.
-不 我不 -快拿开 - No. I'm not... No. - Take your foot off the brake!
妈的 Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
瞧你干得好事 Look what you did! Look what you did!
怎么回事 你们两个龟孙子 What the fuck? You non-driving motherfuckers!
从车里给我出来 Get the fuck out of the car!
我操 Oh, fuck.
快锁门 快锁门 Lock the door! Lock the door!
怎么办 走开 What do I do? Go away!
你是啥玩意 他妈的小精灵吗 What are you, a fucking Keebler Elf?
快从车里出来 Get him out of that car!
美国蓝调摇滚乐队
不 不 真像ZZ Top No, no! It's fucking ZZ Top!
不不 他们是ZZ Top No, no! No, no, no! It's fucking ZZ Top!
他是发怒的海象 Like an angry walrus!
我现在就把这车碾平了 I stomp the car now!
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
-碾啊 碾啊 -妈的 - Stomp! Stomp! - Oh, shit.
老兄 快走 Stop, dude! Go!
我的天啊 Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
让我好好开 Just let me drive!
别打我 Stop hitting me!
小心啊 Dude, watch out!
你能他妈的别开了吗 Will you stop front-seat driving?
别碰方向盘 Get your hands off the wheel!
老兄 你刚才撞到人了 Man, you just hit two people back there!
你快停 -不好 You stop. - I'm not...
放开方向盘 Take your hands off. Shit!
-遇上堵车了 -糟了 - We're stuck in traffic! - Oh, shit.
妈的 他们追来了 他们来了 Shit, they're coming! They're coming!
天啊 Oh, my God, dude.
我们怎么办 What do we do?
我操 我操 What the... What the...
糟了 糟了 Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
糟了 Oh, shit.
-糟了 -你怎么了 快跑啊 - Oh, shit. - What's wrong with you? Run!
我跑不快 穿着紧身裤 I can't! I'm wearing tights!
我穿着紧身牛仔裤 一样施展不开 I got skinny jeans on! It's the same fucking thing!
他们要追上来了 会杀了我们的 They're going to make us, or kill us.
保时捷 Porsche! Porsche!
警察 快下车 Police! Get out of the car, douche!
没看见我在打电话吗 I'm on a call here, jackass.
很好 睡觉觉吧 That's right. Go to sleep, bitch.
给你来个四脚朝天 混蛋 You just got head-butted, motherfucker!
快开车 Go, go, go, go, go, go! Shit.
看看有没有枪什么的 Check around for a gun or something, all right?
上哪儿找 这车没储物箱 Where? Where? There's no glove compartment
这里有高尔夫球和拍子 in this shitty-ass car! There's golf balls and this.
这叫我怎么使啊 What am I supposed to do with this?
不知道 I don't know, man!
我从来没玩过公路追击 I've never been in a freeway chase before!
易燃气体
小心 要爆炸了 要炸了 Watch out! It's going to explode! It's going to go!
怎么了 What happened?
不知道 I don't know.
-竟然没爆炸 -太奇怪了 - It just didn't explode. - That's weird.
有人知道我的彼得上哪儿去了吗 Can anybody tell me where my Peter is?
弗朗奇 你是替补 French! You're not my first choice,
现在要你顶上去演彼得 but I need you to go on as Peter.
天啊 我入戏已经有几个月了 Oh, gosh. And I've been in character for months now.
很好 没人注意你 Great. Nobody cares.
老天啊 又堵车了 Come on! Another traffic jam?
是我的错 没有看路况报告 I'm sorry I didn't check the traffic report
就开始玩热力追踪了 before we got in a car chase!
走吧 快点 Let's go! Come on!
快点 走吧 走吧 Come on. Let's go, let's go, let's go!
糟了 Shit!
茉莉: 你到底在哪儿
你在发短信吗 Are you texting?
没有啊 No, I'm not texting!
你就是在发短信 Yes, you are! You're texting!
我没有 No, I'm not!
好了 马上好 Okay, almost done.
马上就到
大声笑[表情] "Lol."
我来开 I'm driving!
你为什么老是跃过车顶 Why do you always jump over the car like that?
你好 Hi. Hi. How are you?
天啊 你真美 Hi. God damn, you are beautiful.
-你好 -你这种容貌 - Oh. Hi. - You are fine as shit.
不用担心 会有人给你搭便车的 Don't worry. Someone will pick you up.
快点 开车吧 Wow. Hurry. Just drive.
等等 什么叫搭便车 Wait. Pick me up?
- 他们追来了 来了 -我有个办法 - They're coming! They're coming! - I got an idea.
你干嘛不短信他们 Why don't you text them
叫他们别追了 and ask them to stop chasing us?
糟了 Oh, shit!
他有枪 He's got a gun!
我去拿这东西扔他 I'm going to throw this thing at him!
好的 你不用什么事都解说 Okay, you don't have to narrate everything!
-快扔吧 -好的 - Just throw it! -Okay! Okay, okay!
要爆炸了 天啊 It's going to explode! Oh, my God!
快摇上车窗 Roll up the windows!
为什么要摇车窗啊 What the fuck is that going to do?
快摇上 Roll it up!
我也不知道 快摇上 I don't fucking care! Just do it! Oh, God!
真觉得这次该炸了啊 I really thought that one was going to explode.
妈的 Oh, shit!
去储物箱找找有没有枪 Look in the glove compartment for a gun.
怎么会有啊 这是辆粉红的甲壳虫 What are you talking about? We're in a pink Bug!
不管了 快找找 I don't care. Look in the goddamn glove compartment!
还真有 What the hell?
-快射击 -好的 - Shoot Oh, my God. - Okay! Okay!
快开枪 快开枪 Shoot the gun! Shoot the gun!
瞄准不了 瞄准不了 Can't get a good shot, man! I can't get a good shot!
-妈的 妈的 -开枪啊 - Shit, shit. - Take the shot!
开枪啊 射他 快点 Take the shot! Just shoot him! Let's go!
妈的 妈的 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
-射啊 射啊 -妈的 妈的 - Shoot! Shoot! - Shit, shit...
这次竟然爆炸了 太怪了 That's what exploded? Holy shit. That was crazy.
你为什么替我开枪 Why did you shoot for me?
你没开枪 你噎住了 You weren't shooting, you were choking,
-我得出手相助 -我准备射的 - so I had to save us. - I was going to shoot.
你每次都这样 You always do this, every single time.
什么 What?
好吧 快带我回学校去 Seriously, just take me back to school, man.
要是我错过演出 茉莉就会发脾气 If I miss this play, Molly's going to freak out
就不会和我去舞会了 and she's not going to go to prom with me.
-你现在玩真的了 -是的 我很认真 - Are you fucking serious right now? - Fuck, yes, I'm serious!
真不敢相信 因为你我迟到了 你太自私了 Can't believe you made me late. You're so selfish.
-是我自私吗 -是的 就是你 - I'm selfish? - Yes, you're selfish!
你开什么玩笑 Are you fucking kidding me?
看看你自己 Look at yourself!
你入戏太深了 You're in too deep, man.
昨天我在你桌上发现大学的入学申请 Yesterday, I found a college application on your desk!
我不知道这案子要持续多久 I don't know how long this case is going to last.
艾瑞克要去伯克利了 And Eric's going to get into Berkeley,
老实说 我也能进 and, honestly, I can get in, too.
谁知道呢 我能成功的 Who knows? I could ride this thing out.
或许能当个医生什么的 I could be a doctor or something.
你疯了吗 Have you lost your fucking mind?
你把这次调查搅黄了 You screwed this investigation all up.
至少我背得出米兰达权利 你个白痴 At least I know my Miranda rights, you idiot.
你真是个愚蠢的人 You are a very silly man indeed.
男孩儿女孩儿们 快过来 Boys, squaws, come quickly.
抱歉 我来了 Hey! Sorry! It's okay. I'm here.
我知道我错过了前几场戏 I know I missed the first few scenes.
我要感谢弗朗奇·萨缪尔 I want to thank... Give it up to French Samuels
为我顶了班 for ably backing me up.
去你的 道格 Fuck you, Doug! What?
我们就从这儿开始吧 I say we just roll right into this thing, huh?
我们是双胞胎 我们一起... This is my twin. We're together in...
你快走吧 Get the fuck out of here.
你干嘛呢 疯了吧 What are you doing? Have you completely lost your mind?
这算什么 What is this?
不知道 不过更刺激了 I don't know, but it's already more exciting.
你让我好难堪 You're embarrassing me.
没关系 我会补偿你的 It's okay. I'll make it up to you.
让我们飞吧 And... Let's fly!
-飞你个毛 -放开我 - Such bullshit! - Get off of me!
我不笨 我聪明得很 I'm not dumb! I'm smart!
你觉得我傻 你才傻呢 You think I'm stupid? You're stupid!
冲啊 道格 Go, Doug!
我是不是应该做点什么 I guess I should do something.
不能再袖手旁观了 I should probably not just stand here watching.
应该采取行动 I should take action.
哪有你这种朋友 Worst best friend ever!
茉莉 对不起 Molly, I'm sorry!
我不想再和你说话了 I don't want to talk to you ever again.
对不起 I'm sorry.
你个白痴 You stupid idiot!
来啊 来啊 Come here! Come on!
你竟然背地里说我坏话 让别人取笑我 Make fun of me behind my back and everybody laughs at me?
我做了四年废物了 I was a loser for four years!
你当五分钟也不行吗 You couldn't handle it for five minutes!
尝尝精灵粉吧 混蛋 Have some fairy dust, motherfucker!
别打了 Hey, guys, no!
我听见你管我叫雨人 你个混蛋 I heard you call me Rain Man, you asshole!
戴迪尔校长去死吧 Principal Dadier sucks dick!
你是我的朋友 You're supposed to be my friend!
住手 你被开除了 你们两个都被开除了 Stop! Stop it. You're expelled. Both of you are expelled.
第二幕到此结束 And that's the end of Act Two.
就这样了 你怎么不骂我们 Is that it? You're not going to scream at us?
不 Nope.
我要解雇你们 I'm gonna just fire you.
要搬走吗 Moving out?
是的 Yep.
你知道吗 不可思议的是 You know what's crazy to me
我真心觉得我们俩是兄弟 is that I think that I actually thought that we were brothers.
我愿为你两肋插刀 I would've tooken a bullet for you.
快进来 你们俩 Get in now. Both of you.
凭什么 Why should I?
进去吧 Just get in the car, man.
快他妈的进来 Get in the fucking car.
不好 除非你好好地请我 Nope, not until you ask nicely.
请上车 Please get in the car.
快走 拜托了 Come on, you guys. Come on. Please. Jesus.
昨天出了大事情 Some messed up shit went down yesterday.
在交易完成后 Yeah, after we made the exchange,
我们的准客户 our potential business partners
被警察跟踪了 got followed by some fucking cops.
太夸张了 That's insane, man.
是真的吗 Are you serious?
我不想进监狱 Okay, it's just I don't want to go to jail!
你们知道像我这么个帅哥进去会有什么遭遇吗 You know what happens to a handsome guy like me in jail?
还不天天被爆菊 It rhymes with "Grape"!
天天被爆菊啊 It rhymes with "Grape."
我不能进监狱 I can't let that happen.
所以我从老爸的储藏柜里拿了这两把家伙 So I got these from my dad's gun cabinet.
-艾瑞克 艾瑞克 -别这样 - Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric. -Whoa. Come on. Whoa.
春田45口径 警用 杀伤力非常大 Springfield.45s, police issue. Very powerful guns.
你们用过吗 You ever use one?
我们不是舞刀弄枪的人 We're not really gun people, man. No. No?
我对你有很多顾虑 A lot of things have made me wonder about you.
别这样 Come on.
你对音乐的爱好 Your taste in music.
还有你这张近似40岁的老脸 The fact that you look like a fucking 40-year-old man.
但是经过了昨天的闹剧 我知道 Then after that shit at the play, I realized
你们俩不可能是警察 there's no way you guys could be cops.
我要去做个交易 Yeah, I got this deal going down.
供货人也会出席 The supplier's going to be there.
我需要信得过的人 I need people I can trust.
好了 来吧 All right. All right, come on.
你们射那些瓶子 Okay, right over here, we're going to shoot these bottles.
我们要训练下 We're going to practice, okay? Okay.
那简直太棒了 That was... That was actually really fuckin' awesome.
新手运气好 Beginner's luck.
好了 All right.
供货人希望交易在舞会上进行 The supplier wants the deal to go down at prom.
会有很多重量级人物到场 All right, there's going to be all these heavies there,
不过有你们给我撑腰 but as long as you guys have my back...
是吧 是吧 Yeah? Yeah? Shit.
我一直保护你 I always got your back.
是时候重操旧业了 Time to get our jobs back.
我们为舞会做准备吧 Let's get ready for prom.
施密特 该做家务了 Schmidty! Chore time!
老妈 我们现在没空 Mom, we don't have time for chores right now!
要想在这儿住 就得做家务 If you stay in this house, you have time for chores!
老妈 Mom! Ugh!
扣不上啊 Fuck this thing.
我来 Here. Huh?
我帮你会快点 It'll be quicker if I help.
好了 There you go.
谢谢 Thanks.
你霰弹枪背得太下面了 Your shotgun's hanging too low.
会被发现的 They're gonna see it.
谢谢 Thanks.
琴科 Jenko, uh...
你愿意和我去舞会吗 Will you go to prom with me?
我想是的 I guess.
我们真准备单枪匹马 Are we really going to take down
端掉一个毒窝吗 a whole drug operation by ourselves?
我认识些人 能帮我们 I got some contacts that'll help us.
像鹰儿一样飞 Fly like a condor, fly like a eagle
比君威还快 Flyer than the '85 candy-painted Regal
我从上天而来 如鸽子般飞翔 Fly like a dove, I come from up above
我轻敲着麦克风 你可称我为爱神 I'm rappin' on the mic and you can call me Murs Love
我冲入房间 又沉默而出 I run this house, I'm dumbin' out
不用说话 就能牵动姑娘的眼神 I can make your girl come, keep my tongue in my mouth
年轻的我酷的不得了 Whoa, I'm that cold with it, 23 below with it
雪球效应 跟我一起摇摆 Snowball effect, I suggest that y'all roll with it
飞吧 我要振翅飞翔 Fly, ooh, I'm 'bout to spread my wings
我想要飞翔 我要振翅飞翔 I'm lookin' fly, ooh, I'm 'bout to spread my wings
我想要飞翔 I'm lookin' fly
提华纳之夜
看到一个兄弟 也想振翅飞翔 Watch a nigga spread his wings
我想要飞翔 I'm lookin' fly
想要 想要 想要 Lookin', lookin', lookin'
布拉德 你来这做什么 你不能来的 Brad, what are you doing here? You can't be here.
如果校长看到你怎么办 What if the principal sees you?
你不该来 This is wrong, yet so right.
你说什么 What?
我很开心你愿意为我惹一身麻烦 I am so happy you're willing to get in trouble for me.
你必须得离开 千万别抛下我 You have to go. Please, don't leave me ever.
格里戈斯老师 停下 Ms. Griggs, stop. Stop.
-还是留下来吧 -你先停下 - Stay! Stay. - Stop.
-什么 -留下来 - What? - Stay.
-不行 你快走 -好的 - Go! - Okay.
-还是留下来吧 -你停停 - Stay. - Stop. Stop.
-没有你我就会迷失方向 -你到底说什么 - I'm lost without you. - What?
你走吧 我有点晕 Get out of me. I'm going to throw up.
你好性感 You are so hot!
好吧 All right.
小呆瓜 Hey, pumpkin head.
我现在很气你 你得陪我跳舞 I'm very mad at you. Dance with me.
-你嗑药了 -那又怎么了 - Are you on that shit? - So what if I am?
茉莉听着 这里可能会发生很危险的事情 Look, Molly, some serious stuff is about to go down,
我不想你受到伤害 and I don't want you to get hurt.
我的心已经受伤了 道格 我才不管你说的那些 I've already been hurt, Doug. I don't care.
你必须得离开这里 You need to leave. You need to leave.
现在必须离开 You need to get out of here right now.
你的手势好可爱 Making a lot of hand gestures!
好吧 我不叫道格 Okay, my name's not Doug.
-我叫施密特 -什么意思 - It's Schmidt. - What?
-我是警察 -什么 - And I'm a cop. - What?
明白吗 我很关心你 Okay, and I care about you,
不想让你受伤害 and I don't want you to get busted,
所以你现在快走 so you have to leave right now.
茉莉 现在赶紧走 Leave the prom right now, Molly.
你要听我的 I'm serious.
去阁楼吧 供货人来了 Penthouse now. Supplier's waiting.
-你到底是谁 -快来 - What are you? - Come on. Hey, come on.
-供货人都等着了 -那是艾瑞克吗 - Supplier's waiting. - Is that Eric?
-茉莉 快走 -你说什... - Molly, leave right now. - What are you...
快离开 Just leave right now!
到底什么事 What is this?
沃尔特斯老师? Mr. Walters?
帅哥布拉德 和他的弟弟 Beautiful Brad, and his brother.
你看起来真不赖 Wow. You look great.
你就是供货人 你不是老师吗 You're the supplier? You're a teacher.
老师那点薪水管个屁用 And I was stuck on a teacher's salary, bro.
仅够担负生活费的 Could barely pay my alimony.
换你 你会怎么做 What are you gonna do?
小伙子们干的好棒 You boys are so good at this.
当然 席妮曼 Oh, yeah, Cinnamon!
老天 我们抓到了关键证据 Oh, my God, we're getting such good evidence.
有次我从实验室偷了点煤气喷灯 I stole some of that Bunsen burner crap
把冰爽麻放上面烤一下 from the chem lab, threw in some of my Cool Deets,
口味就会非常棒 and it was muy delicioso!
然后有一天我在更衣室看到艾克 Then one day I catch Eco Butt-munch over here
正在猛吸J.J smoking a J.J. Behind the field house,
我就说"想不想赚些钱" and I'm like, "Hey, you want to make some coin?"
真是个见钱眼开的傻屌 What a green penis that guy is, huh?
我的玉米饼送来了 There's my quesadilla.
我的手好疼 I hurt my hands!
傻逼 Bitch.
糟了 Oh, shit.
你们看着好像都出车祸了 You guys look crazy scary.
你们来了多少人 How many of you are there?
很多 A lot.
卡尔 Karl.
你那眼罩看着挺帅 Patch looks pimp, man.
谢了 Thank you.
他会认出咱们的 He's gonna recognize us, man.
我有些怕 I'm freaking out.
这位是沃尔特斯 这些东西都是他做的 This is Walters, he made the stuff.
很高兴见到你 Real pleasure to meet you.
管你叫什么名字 Fuck what his name is.
你做的货真不赖 Your shit's good.
谢谢 Thank you.
这对我是莫大的认可 That means a lot coming from you.
这是什么 你在开派对吗 What, you having a party now?
那两个傻逼是谁 Who are these two motherfuckers?
该死 Fuck!
谈的怎么样 Hey. Hey. How's it going?
没事 自己人 Nah, nah, it's cool, man, they're my boys, so...
-是吗 -是的 - Are they? - Yeah.
我不喜欢陌生人 I don't like strangers.
你那种态度 How do you ever expect
怎么能交到新朋友呢 to make any new friends with that attitude?
你不给机会 It's, like, everyone's a stranger
人人都是陌生的 till you give them a chance, man.
你他妈的说什么屁话 What the fuck are you talking about?
我不是 I don't even...
只是随便说说 Just fuckin' around.
做该做的吧 继续 Do your thing, man. Proceed.
你小子 过来 Hey, kid, come here.
你看着有些眼熟 You, you look familiar.
-我吗 -没错 - Me? - Yeah.
我小时候上过法式薯条广告 I was in a French fry commercial when I was a kid,
所以人们看到我总会说 so people are like, you know,
我看你有点眼熟 often say, "Oh, I think I know you,"
但我想 我们没见过面 but I don't think we've ever met before.
你看我像是爱吃薯条的人吗 Do I look like I eat French fries?
我不知道 不过我看你很有型 I don't know, you look like you're in great shape,
但也许你有那么一天 突然想吃些 but maybe you have, like, one cheat day,
你说是吧 like a carb blowout, you know? I don't know.
不会 Nah.
你听 还有主题歌 Yeah, the theme song was, like...
快来吃安德鲁法式薯条 Come to Andrew's French Fry Emporium
这有薯条 还有朋友 Where friendship and French fries
这会肯定是我的玉米饼 That's my quesadilla!
你们谁想尝尝 Who wants a piece? Huh?
我知道你在里面 道格 不管你叫什么 I know you're in there, Doug, or whatever your name is!
你骗了我 You lied to me!
阶段四 歇斯底里
我要宰了你 傻逼警察 I'm gonna kill you, you stupid fucking cop!
你们听到吗 她竟然骂我是 Hey, you guys, she just called me
傻逼老二 真粗鲁 a stupid fucking cock. That's rude.
老二和警察 英文发音有些像
傻逼缉毒警察 Dickhead narc motherfucker!
她刚才是骂 "傻逼鸡巴老二"吧 Did she just say "Nickhead dark motherfucker"?
太没素质了 That's just racist.
我认出你们俩了 I know these two.
你们俩是警察 Your boys are cops! They're cops!
-警察 -都给我趴下 - Police! - Get on the ground!
你们俩才该趴下 You get on the fuckin' ground!
-我们先说的 -我管不着 - We asked you first! - I don't give a damn!
你们俩是他妈警察 You're fucking cops?
我们原来那么合拍 But we partied together, man.
你还请我们吃塔可钟 You bought us Taco Bell.
艾瑞克 我一直都真心待你 我说真的 Eric, honestly, that was a sincere gesture.
你还送我这条象征友谊的手链 You made me this friendship bracelet.
你才不是他朋友 Well, he's not really your friend.
一切都是伪装的 He was pretending the whole time.
我一会儿就把这破链子剪断 I'm gonna cut this the fuck off later, all right?
这他妈吵什么 What the fuck is going on?
让这小子闭嘴 Shut this kid up!
-他也是 -不 别 等下 - Him, too. - No, no! Hey, wait!
别 听我说 我是跟你一伙的 No, no, no. Listen, I'm with you guys!
我不知道这两个家伙是警察 I didn't know these guys were cops!
我得快走 I'm getting out of here.
我恨死你了 I fucking hate you!
给我滚开 Get that out of my face!
-茉莉 -混蛋 你在这 - Molly! - Oh, there you are!
我操 What the fuck!
把枪放下 否则我一枪崩了她 Drop your guns, or I'll spray her brains all over the room!
劫持人质 跟电视上学的么 Trying to take a hostage, some goddamn TV show shit?
不知道 我只是想帮忙 好吗 I don't know! I'm trying to help, all right?
我以前从没这么做过 I've never done this shit before.
你这混球 Well, you're fucking up.
扔下枪 否则她就得死 Drop the guns or she's dead!
她好像已经死了 She looks dead already.
什么 不会吧 What? No.
老天 Oh, Jesus.
我听见她呼吸了 Yeah, I can hear her breathing.
她只是药劲过了 我们很有利 She just passed out from the drugs. We're good.
把枪扔了 Drop the guns or...
好的 好的 你们冷静下 All right, all right, just chill out.
我们会放下武器 We're gonna drop our guns.
你们得把女孩放了 没有人会死的 好吗 You got to let the kids go, and no one's gonna die, okay?
放下枪 踢开 Just drop the guns, and kick them over here.
D.B 崩了这俩傻逼 D.B., shoot these motherfuckers.
等下 这不公平 我们诚心诚意的弃了枪 Oh, come on, that's unfair! We put our guns down in good faith.
你这个骗子 太卑鄙了 You're a liar, and you're mean!
这不公平 我们可以交个朋友 That's unfair. We're all friends here.
我们先放松下 我们完全可以交个朋友 Let's just relax, and we can all leave here as friends.
没错 我们就这么做 Yeah, let's do that.
你们俩真是笨蛋 Y'all boys are stupid.
天啊 我们要死了 Oh, my God, we're gonna die. We're gonna die.
去死吧 God damn it!
汤姆·汉森 我是警察 跪下 Tom Hanson, DEA! On your knees!
什么情况 What the fuck?
-跪下 -操 - Now! - Fuck!
道格·本海 我也是警察 你被捕了 Doug Penhall, DEA! You're under arrest!
你们都把枪放下 多明戈 叫他们放下 Guns down, all of you! Domingo, tell them!
把枪放下 Put them down.
太棒了 Nice! Yes!
闭上你的狗嘴 Shut the fuck up!
你们俩个蠢蛋 You little dweebs just
差点毁了我们整整五年的卧底 ruined a five-year investigation.
我们完全不知道 We had no idea.
你们演的可真好 You're, like, an amazing actor, man.
你在我妹妹的婚礼上吹过萨克斯 You played saxophone at my sister's wedding, man!
我还上过她 胸可真不小 Tough titty. I fucked her, too.
什么 What?
你们两个小混蛋 You little turds.
你们知道混进这个帮派中间 Do you have any idea how difficult it is
有多困难吗 to infiltrate a gang like this?
看到这个鼻子了吗 Do you see this nose?
这个假鼻子 That is a fake nose.
你想要这个假鼻子还有胶水 Do you want to wear a fake nose on your fuckin' head
成年累月的贴在脸上吗 for, like, months on end? Glue and shit?
这世上最恶心的感觉 Worse things in the world.
我们还得在老二上做刺青 We had to get fuckin' tattoos on our dicks, man.
其实 我觉得 Hey, actually, I just said that
-挺适合你 -什么 - to mess with you. - What?
够硬汉 Looks tough.
我们明白当卧底的滋味 Look, we know what it's like being undercover.
龙虎警局 Metro Police, Jump Street Division.
你们俩个也是龙虎街的吗 Come on, you guys are Jump Street?
没错 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
真巧 我们也是龙虎街的人 That's funny, because we were actually Jump Street.
-什么 -没错 - What? - Yeah. Oh, yeah.
该死 Oh, shit!
我的天 该死 Oh, my God! Oh, shit.
天啊 老兄 Oh, my God, dude!
拿起武器 Get them!
操你们妈的 Motherfucker!
开枪 Shoot them!
我操 Fuck that.
那是枪声 That was a gun.
有人中枪了 Somebody definitely got shot.
好的 All right.
把钱拿上 我们快走 Here, take the money, all right? We're getting out of here.
我有打中谁吗 Did I hit anything?
你全打到天花板上了 You were shooting at the fuckin' ceiling.
道格 Doug.
我知道 咱们当卧底时 I know sometimes I was a jerk to you
我总是拖你后腿 when we were undercover.
那只是因为我觉得自己还不够好 It's just... I didn't feel good about myself.
我穿戴的那些东西 什么手链 All that stuff I wore, like the bracelets,
戒指 紧身裤 the rings, the tight pants,
只是 was just so
要让人们认为我很酷 that people would think I'm cool.
其实 The only approval
我唯一需要的 that I ever needed
还是我最好朋友的认可 was my best friend.
谢谢 老朋友 Thanks, man.
钱被拿走了 The money's gone!
我们追 Come on, let's roll.
我们得离开这里 哥们 We gotta get out of here, man.
开始行动 你是这个意思吧 Are you telling me it's on?
-对 开始行动 -没错 咱俩生个孩子吧 - Let's do this. - Let's make a baby.
-什么 你刚说什么 -我随口瞎说的 - What? What are you talking about? - I don't know.
我只是想说的酷一些 抱歉 I was trying to sound cool. Sorry.
你干掉了那个家伙 做的好 That was crazy! You killed a guy!
我操 Oh, fuckin' shit!
我们混进舞会 甩掉他们 走 Hey, hey, we'll lose them in the prom! Go!
毕业了 Graduation
我们仍记得 We remember
我们一起 All the times we
相处的时光 Had together
即使命运转变 And as our lives changed
道路挫折 Come whatever
我们仍会 We Will still be
快走 Go, go, go, go!
他们去哪了 Where'd they go?
茉莉 Molly!
该死 Shit!
-你来开车 -交给我吧 - You want to drive? - Yeah, I do, actually.
好的 Okay, cool.
干的漂亮 Nice!
我刚才够酷吧 Did it look cool when I did it?
-说的没错 -对 - That's what I'm talking about! - Yeah!
你们在后面跟着挺紧是吧 How you guys doing back there, huh?
老天 我爱死高中了 God, I love high school!
还有最棒的毕业舞会 Best prom night ever!
-开枪打他们 -跟住他们 - Shoot them! - Stay on them!
跟住 没问题 I'm on them! I'm on them!
你们小伙子 快来后面跟我玩 Oh, good, you guys, come hang out with me back here.
我日 丽萨 你怎么在车上 Oh, fuck, dude. Lisa, what are you doing?
她喝多了 在后面睡着了吗 Did she pass out back there?
你们后面也有枪 向他们开枪 Hey, you got a gun. Why don't you shoot back there?
开枪 向后开枪 Shoot that gun, shoot that gun!
好的 等一下 All right, one second!
白痴 快开枪 Just shoot someone, you bitch!
还想跑 Peek-a-boo!
把钱给我 Give me my money!
我操 不可能 Fuck that! Fuck that! No! No!
我做不来 我本该去伯克利的 I can't do this! I'm supposed to go to Berkeley!
聚会开始了 I'm gonna get the party started!
-聚会开始 -别 丽萨 别出去 - I'm gonna get the party started! - No! No! Lisa, no!
站在豪华轿车中的梦想 实现了 Hey, I'm living my dream of standing in a limo!
什么 What?
-你打破了我的梦想 -进来 - You're killing my dream! - Come in.
-干什么 我正要开始庆祝呢 -下来 - What? I'm trying to party. - Down!
臭婊子 Bitch!
什么 我操 What? Fuck!
宰了你 I'll kill you!
宰了你 Kill you!
别 给我老实待着 No! No! Stay where you are.
去死 Go! Go, go!
停下 No! Stop!
我可不跟你开玩笑 现在正在枪战 I'm not fucking kidding! Look, I'm trying to shoot people!
你给我住手 等两秒就好 Will you stop! Just for two seconds!
你真的很火辣 又放荡 又漂亮 You're really hot and you're really slutty and it's awesome,
但我现在得集中注意力开枪 but I got to shoot people right now!
你认为我很辣是吗 You think I'm hot?
我想要 老天 I wanna... Oh, my God!
等下 小伙子们 记得打电话 Wait, guys! Call me!
打完仗 告诉我你们在哪 Let me know where you're ending up later.
我快没子弹了 I'm almost out of ammo.
差点被打着 We're fucked.
给我钱 Give me my money!
我有个注意 I got an idea.
-你还有散弹弹壳吗 -有 - You still got those shotgun shells? - Yeah.
奎兹诺斯测验 Pop Quiznos.
当锂电池和硝酸钾反应 What do you get when
你知道会发生什么吗 lithium batteries react to potassium nitrate?
会产生共价键 伙计 That would be a covalent bond, brother.
两个原子 共享电子 That's when two atoms, they share electrons.
他们都需要彼此对方的电子 You see, they both need what the other one has.
那会把他们紧紧结合在一起 That makes them stick together.
你说我们是共价键吗 Are you saying we're covalent bonds?
什么 不 What? No.
我们不是原子 兄弟 We're not atoms, dude.
这是什么 龙舌兰酒吗 What's this? Tequila?
怎么回事 它应该爆炸了呀 I don't know, it was supposed to explode.
牛逼 Oh, shit!
你从哪里学来的 老兄 Where'd you learn how to do that, man?
App化学 呆子 App chemistry, bitch.
快来 美人 Come on, blondie.
茉莉 Molly!
放下武器 Drop your weapon!
敢抬手开枪 你就完蛋了 Don't you fuckin' pull that arm up.
别动 Don't.
傻逼 你们没子弹了 Oh-ho! Looks like you're out of ammo, asshole!
出来 婊子 Come on! Get out here!
-怎么回事 -好了 - What? What's going on? - All right.
你们听好了 All right, here's the deal.
都别动 否则她就得死 Nobody moves, or she's gonna get hurt.
你们明白吗 都别动 Do you understand? Nobody move!
-好的 -艾瑞克 救救我 - All right. - Eric, help me.
你不是有枪吗 Don't you have a gun?
听着 别动 All right, don't move!
老实点 跟我走 Come on, let's go. Let's go.
不要 No!
别动 我说别动 Hey, no, no, I said don't move!
该死 你敢打我哥们 Oh, fuck, you shot him!
天 Oh, God!
你还好吗 Are you okay?
你敢对我兄弟开枪 你去死 You shot my partner, you motherfucker!
我没想打他 我想打得是你 I didn't mean to shoot you! I meant to shoot him!
你还活着吗 还好吗 你替我挨了一枪 Are you alive, buddy? You okay? You took a bullet for me, man.
我现在也不太清楚 Yeah, I'm feeling a little ambivalent about that right now.
你聋了吗 我说别动 Didn't you hear me? I said don't move!
我说了 你也听见了 对吧 I said that! You heard, right?
艾瑞克 你也听见了 我说别动 Eric, you heard me! I said don't move!
艾瑞克 救我 Eric, help me!
只能靠你了 You got this.
都别动 Hey, hold still.
站住 Freeze!
开枪 Shoot!
上吧 Come on.
你的高中生活结束了 混蛋 You peaked in high school, motherfucker.
老天 Oh, shit.
我打中了他的老二 I shot him in the dick.
你打中了我的老二 You shot me in the dick!
我的天 Oh, my God!
太棒了 Yes!
太棒了 Yes! Yes!
太棒了 Yes!
你被捕了 You are under arrest!
子弹从屁眼穿出去了 It definitely came out my asshole!
你有权利保持沉默 You have the right to remain silent!
你所说的任何话 都会被当作 Anything you say can and will be used against you
呈堂证供 in a court of law!
你有权利请一名律师 You have the right to an attorney!
如果你请不起律师 法庭会为你指派一位 If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you!
你的权利如上所诉 你明白了吗 Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?
傻逼 Fuck you! Bitch!
太棒了 Yes! Yes!
我们做到了 老兄 We did it, man!
做到了 We did it.
老天 这感觉太棒了 God, I feel so good.
我们做到了 We did it, man!
你他妈的都成摇滚明星了 You're a goddamn rock star.
感觉到了吗 Do you feel that?
老天 你酷毙了 God damn, you're so cool.
你一枪打中了他的老二 You just shot him in the dick.
我从没见过 谁能做到 I've never seen that. Who does that?
我很抱歉 叫你雨人 Look, I'm sorry I called you Rain Man.
虽然我没说过 但你很聪明 I know I didn't say you were, but you're smart.
你是个聪明人 善于思考 You're a smart guy, and you're thoughtful,
真诚 亲切 忠实 and you're sincere and you're sweet and you're loyal...
我他妈太感谢你了 And I fuckin' cherish you.
我们应该击掌吗 Should we high-five?
我的手 Ow! My hand!
你还好吗 用送你去医院吗 Are you all right? Should we get you to the hospital, man?
-好 得叫人来帮忙 -快叫人帮忙 - Yeah, I think we need to call somebody. - Hey, call somebody!
得把我的老二缝回去 I got to get my dick sewn back on.
-你他妈闭嘴 -你闭嘴 - You shut the fuck up. - Hey, you shut up.
-这可不好玩 -是那个吗 - That's not funny. - Is that it?
什么 What?
那是我老二 That's my dick!
帮我捡起来 求你们 Pick up my dick! Please!
不 我们才不碰你的老二 No, we're not picking up your dick.
该死 快捡起来 Fuckin' pick my dick up!
操 Oh, fuck!
他是我朋友 He's my friend.
不会在监狱里亏待他的 They don't serve vegan in jail, bitch.
茉莉 Molly...
我来说对不起 I'm really sorry.
我知道你想要一个能信任的男人 I know you wanted a guy to trust,
然而我却表现的这么差 and I wanted to be that person so badly.
让你如此失望 And I let you down in a lot of ways.
还有 And...
你对我发火 我很开心 It's good that you're mad at me.
我觉得这很对 你应该多多这样发火 I think it's good. I think you should be mad at more guys,
因为这样你才能找到一个不会欺骗你的男人 because you deserve a guy who's good and who doesn't lie to you.
你就应该嫁给那种人 And you should never settle for less than that.
这世上有许多好男人 There are good guys out there
不像我这么混蛋 who aren't assholes like me.
谢谢你救了我 Thanks for saving my life,
混蛋 asshole.
那我们握个手吧 搭档 Put her there, partner.
我一会儿回来 I'll come back later.
《虎胆龙威》最后是不是就像我们这样 We're, like, in the end of Die Hard right now,
但我们是真实生活 but it's our actual life.
太疯狂了 It's crazy.
第一集 还是第二集 Number one or two?
第三集 Three.
-有山姆·杰克逊那部 对 -硬汉风格 - Sam Jackson one. Yeah! - Sam Jackson style.
混蛋们 一切都好吗 过来 Boom, motherfuckers! What's going on? Come on!
他在哪 在这呢 Where is he? There's my guy!
他在这 There he is! That's him. That's him.
行了 抱的够长了 Enough. Too long on the hug.
恭喜 你们两个 Congratulations, you
又疯狂又神经的混蛋警察 crazy, sick, vigilante motherfuckers.
恭喜你们第一次完成抓捕行动 You got your first arrest, huh?
-看 这是给你们的 -不是吧 - Look. Got something made for you. -You didn't!
-你太好了 -好了 够了 - Come on. - All right, all right. Enough. Enough.
新任务 New assignment.
既然你们俩家伙 那么爱喝酒 Since you two cowboys love to drink booze,
和小鬼们吸大麻 干女人 smoke weed with kids, and fuck anything with a big ass in jeans
没脸没皮 with low self-esteem,
我打算送你们去一个更无法无天的地方 I'm gonna send you to a place where all that shit is allowed.
我喜欢迪士尼乐园 Oh, I love Disneyland!
你们两个给我去上大学 You two sons of bitches are going to college!
-不要 -太棒了 - No! - Yes!
我的天 你比两个男人还猛 Oh, my God! You're like two Hardy Boys in one!
糟糕 Oh, fuck!
斯考特 你来这干什么 Hey, why are you here, Scott?
肯尼迪中学今晚有聚会吗 What, Kennedy High isn't having any parties tonight?